Debateable Strands of Wisdom

Foundation Backbone and Helping Hands

2007-10-28T19:47:00.000Z

Being back in South Africa has certainly driven home a few realities which are easier to ignore when you live on a different continent. Being faced, for example, with the issue of AIDS and the implications it has for our country. For most of my life AIDS was something we were taught about and which we heard about and basically that we read about in the news. We knew about AIDS orphans, but we never really did anything about it, after all, what can one person do? But since I've been back I have realised the seriousness of the issue as if I were encountering it for the first time. I have felt a burden for these children since my housemate started telling me more about her involvement with an orphanage called Helping Hands. My heart has been stirring to do something productive since I heard about these beautiful children and the seemingly hopeless situation they find themselves in. So we have been compelled to act. We are in the process of registering as a section 21 company- that is basically a non-profit organization- and we are calling ourselves Foundation Backbone (which was inspired by Joyce Meyer saying we need to have Backbone, not Wishbone). Our vision is ultimately to partner with as many charities and organizations as possible in order to help the children in our country that are affected by AIDS. You have no idea how it affects you getting involved in the lives of these kids. They are just gorgeous. So full of life and hope and joy that you can't believe that they all come from backgrounds so horrible they are enough to make the strongest of you feel sick to your stomach. I know I have never felt so full of life and yet so broken and humbled all at the same time. Take a look at a few of these pictures. They might give you a better idea of what I'm talking about.

Now where have I heard that before?

2007-03-29T22:10:00.000+01:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're gonna say- it's just another excuse! Where have I heard that before?
But this time it's TRUE! My internet SUCKS!!!!!! I can't possibly stay up to date on wonderful blogger and stay in tune with my blogosphere family if my internet doesn't work.
But lo! What light at the end of yonder tunnel shines...? Tis' the east... and soon to be the end of internet problems is the solution! Hopefully, anyway. As soon as the new internet is up and running I will be BACK IN ACTION!!!!!

In the meantime- Did you miss me? (say yes, even if you don't mean it, just say yes.)

Word to ponder for the day: Random.
It's a word I love, it's a word I use all the time... But WHAT DOES IT MEAN? It's so... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah. Random.

The Old Has Gone, The New Has Come.

2006-12-31T19:42:00.000Z

Today is the 31^st of December 2006. It’s 8pm. There are only 4 hours left of this year.

I have to say that today was a fantastic finish to the year. We went to the Cape of Good Hope, which is the most South Western point of South Africa. It’s a beautiful nature reserve with a little cable car called a funicular that goes up the mountain. We had an early breakfast there and went up to the top where there is an old lighthouse that is no longer in use due to the fact it is 259m above sea level and it often used to be under cloud cover so boats couldn’t see it anyway. They rebuilt the lighthouse further down at a height of 87m above sea level.

From the top of the mountain there is an incredible view of the Cape. You can see for miles and miles and miles in all directions. Today was windy, but very sunny, so the sea was the deepest blue you can imagine. We saw dolphins in the water having a grand ole time. Now imagine standing on the edge of a cliff and seeing the ocean crashing over the rocks below. There are seagulls surfing the air currents about halfway between you and the water. The mountain tapers down to the sea and on a rock pinnacle there stands a single building – the lighthouse. It looks lost and lonely with only the birds and breakers to keep it company. In the distance you see mountains silhouetted on the horizon and right beside you climbs a sheer face of rock that is so straight it looks as though it has been severed with a knife. The sun is basking on you but the fresh sea breeze cools you down perfectly and you can actually taste the salt in the air. It is as close to heaven as you can get. That is definitely a highlight of this year.

At the close of the year and another chapter it is always a good time for Selah. Pause and think. Think about life and what events have shaped and formed you. Think about what direction your life is taking and to reassess if you are where you want to be. Are you satisfied with turning the page and closing off this chapter?

The last 12months have been…eventful, to say the least. I don’t think I have been through so many emotional highs or lows in any other 12 month period. I don’t think I have ever grown as much either. It has been a valley of weeping and a place of refreshing springs. I must admit that I am relieved the year is drawing to a close. I’m grateful for all it has achieved in my life, but I am looking forward to a new season and a new beginning.

I pray for you that 2007 is a year of new beginnings. A year of dreaming big. A year that meets and exceeds every one of your expectations.

Fare thee well 2006.

Bring it on 2007!

FINALLY - a few pics!

2006-12-30T20:05:00.000Z

I know these are only a few, but I finally managed to get them uploaded.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-26T08:09:00.000Z

This is an old favourite, and has become one of my most loved carols, simply because I took the time to really listen to what was beng said. It is so easy to just sing along to the familiar tune without thinking about it. Hope you had a very merry Christmas!

Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled
"Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem

"Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel

Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings
Ris'n with healing in His wings
Mild He lays His glory by
Born that man no more may die
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"

The Psychologist

2006-12-18T21:50:00.000Z

A Sample of Ewe.

The Psychologist. How original can you get?!?!

The Story of Ewe

2006-12-18T21:35:00.000Z

Ann Gadd - The Story of Ewe

Once upon a time Ewe worked for a large IT corporation. She quickly climbed the corporate ladder to success. One day there was a big corporate merger and Ewe was"left to pusure other interests," and was replaced by Shawn, who had more RAM. Ewe felt like a lost sheep until she realised that what she really wanted to do was to shear spiritual heights - to seek the answer to "Who are Ewe?"
In her quest for The Truth, Ewe has studied the great philosophers - Plato and Socrates became her pals and Jung her astral analyst. She listened to every bleat of her guru, Sigh Baabaa who preached regularly to his flock and wrote a best seller: “Rams are from Mars and Ewes are from Venus.” She attended workshops in “Creating Ewe” and “Finding your Inner Lamb.” She experimented with grass, became a vegetarian and locked horns with conventional beliefs feeling that most sheep have had the wool pulled over their eyes.
Finally one day she realised: Gee, Ewe are Ewe. (Guru)

This is the brainchild of a local Capetonian artist called Ann Gadd. I fell in love with the idea, and though her philosophies are sometimes a little 'left field' I cannot help but admire her originality and fabulous sense of humour. Please, check out the site and see a bit more about her.

Hadassah

2006-12-17T19:32:00.000Z

Have you ever been in a place you didn't understand? Or been put in a situation you couldn't come to grips with? I often find myself questioning the reason or the motivation behind so many of the places I end up in.

I am currently reading Hadassah - One Night With The King, by Tommy Tenney and it sometimes feels like I'm looking at my own life, or my own struggles. Ok, my physical circumstances are nothing like hers, but her emotional struggles and the obstacles she must face and overcome with no explanation why ring true in the deepest part of my soul.

If you currently are, or ever have been, 'in the desert' with no water in sight, I would highly recommend this book. It might just stir your faith into believing that God is still (as He always has been) God. And nothing will ever make that less true.

Joke of the Year 2006

2006-12-15T21:11:00.000Z

This is for those of you who, like me, have slightly awry senses of humour...

I was walking down the road and I saw a small, dead ghost.
It turned out to be a hankerchief.

Pfahahahaha!!!!!

Just a thought...

2006-12-10T20:08:00.000Z

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

Post Secret

2006-12-08T20:21:00.000Z

I know I've posted on this before, but I went on to Post Secret's blog again today for the first time in months. There is always something that really captures my attention. I really support the site for all they are achieving and for how much has been accomplished through the work of this one man. But you know what I find more difficult to face than all the secrets you see there? The fact that those people have no-one to tell their secrets to. How lonely is your life if the only person you can share with is a stranger you only know from a website?

Go check out the link.

If you see someone wearing a white hat, please, reach out to them. Buy them a coffee. Maybe they will finally have someone to tell their secrets to.

Promise

2006-11-28T20:35:00.000Z

This morning carried on its wings the promise of life. It was as though Spring had arrived after a long winter. It is not even that I felt physically that great. In fact, after only getting 5 hours sleep, I definitely don’t feel fantastic physically. And yet somehow today holds promise. It is a feeling, I expect, not dissimilar to what a bear feels after awakening from hibernation.
An expectation.
An awakening.
A new day.
I do not fully comprehend this, but I feel my spirit rejoicing as though somehow, somewhere a great battle was won. I am reminded of David Crowder’s song We Won!

We’re gonna shout loud, loud until the walls come down,
Shout loud, loud until the walls come down,
Loud until the walls come down.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Cause we’ve already won and you don’t have a chance
Yeah we’ve already won and no you don’t have a chance.
Cause it’s already done and you don’t have a chance
Because we’ve already won.
We have already won.
We have already won.

This song is something of a victory chant, one my soul is gladly declaring today.
I have no idea what brought this on, but I know it’s God. I know also that today somehow signifies a turning point in my life and potentially in other lives as well.

Who Don't You Think You Are?

2006-11-27T20:34:00.000Z

Pastor Paul Scanlon and the Abundant Life Ministries Worship team were visiting us yesterday from Bradford. It felt like home to have the type of worship I am used to and the same preaching style as we used to have at Hills.

He spoke on identity, but he had a whole different take on it. He said what’s going to stop you from reaching your potential is not who you are, but who you DON’T THINK you are. What if who you don’t think you are is who God wants you to be? How will you achieve what God intends for you?

In Numbers 13 we see the 12 spies bringing report on the Promised Land. 2 of them, Joshua and Caleb, bring a good report, but 10 of them bring a negative report. They said that ‘We were as grasshoppers in their eyes.’. That was their identity in their own eyes. They were grasshoppers. They did not think that they were conquerors. So who they did not think they were stood in their way.

Here’s the thing though: do you really think that God would ask a grasshopper to do something beyond its capacity or potential? If God is asking you to do something great in your generation he knows you can do it.

Now THERE’S a thought!

Who are you?
Who don’t you think you are?
What if you’re wrong?

This is Me

2006-11-26T12:51:00.000Z

Some things you may not know about me:

I love animation films. Especially ones like Brother Bear with crazy characters like Moose who make statements like ‘We even have Moosettes. That’s Lady Moose, hey. They put the ‘OO’ in Moose.’

I can do a fairly accurate impression of a British and Scottish accent. (And I sometimes enjoy practicing them in the mirror)

C.S. Lewis is one of my favourite authors. Screwtape Letters was possibly the best book he wrote.

Two weeks ago I made my first pair of dangly earrings. With a matching necklace. I now have 3 sets. (ooooooh…)

Books I am currently reading: Kissed the Girls and Made them Cry – Lisa Bevere ; The Harvest – Rick Joyner ; To Own a Dragon – Donald Miller ; Kiss of Heaven – Darlene Zschech.

I secretly used to harbour aspirations of being a pirate, or an adventurer in Medieval times. (I still do)

My favourite band is David Crowder Band. They are musical genii. Their albums A Collision and B Collision are two of the best albums ever produced. (I think so anyway)

I love looking at something to see past the first impression.

I used to completely addicted to coffee. I am now only slightly addicted.

I have a practically insatiable sweet-tooth.

I always wished I had the ability to paint what I saw and have it look like what I saw.

I sing in the shower. And everywhere else. Though I certainly will not quit my day job for it. ;)

Deep down inside me there is a drama queen waiting to burst out.

I actually MISS the London Underground.

See the Path

2006-11-25T12:50:00.000Z

I just heard the most fascinating statement. From a Captain Morgan ad on TV no less. (Funny how that happens, right when you least expect it.)
They said that you don’t always have to see a path to know that it’s there.
It basically showed nomads in the dessert trekking through the most rugged terrain you can imagine. They do not go by road, they go by instinct. They travel by roads unseen, but nevertheless felt. The truth in that statement is biblical. In Psalm 77:19 Asaph spoke about God when he said:
Your road led through the sea, your pathway through the mighty waters- a pathway no-one knew was there!
The Israelites were faced with a sea. A huge expanse of water that blocked their way to freedom. There was no path for them to see, but God knew that there was a path- right through the water. Have you ever stood before an ocean of water, wondering how you could get to the other side of it? Me too. But the best part of that is that I know the path is there, even if I cannot see it because I know that God can open up the ocean and allow me to walk to the other side on dry ground.

Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T12:43:00.000Z

My friend Clovergirl was inspired by Thanksgiving on Thursday to make a list of things in her life she is most thankful for. I was challenged to do the same.
So, here goes:

· A God who knows the path, even when we do not.
· Friends who know me and love me because of (and in spite of) who I am.
· My family (even if we are slightly dysfunctional sometimes)
· Waking up every morning and seeing mountains outside my front door.
· Chocolate (and every other beautiful sweet ever invented)
· My beautiful iBook and iPod which make life so easy.
· Mom’s cooking
· An amazing church
· My blogosphere friends who appreciate my random thoughts
· The fact that I’m going to be in Sydney 6 months from now and that I’ll be living in the same city as some of my best friends again!
· Pixar and Disney animation films

Life...Or Something Like It

2006-11-23T19:12:00.000Z

Firstly, yes, I do realize that it has been some time since I tormented all of you with my random ponderings on life and all things like it :) Rest assured this silence has in no way been a bad silence, it was much more a reflective, comfortable silence… such as the type you experience when much has been said that deserves some good chewing on internally. This chewing, meditating state has, for the last few weeks, been my constant mindset. It seems there is an endless source of subjects worth pondering all of a sudden.

My Hillsong College application has been deferred so that my enrollment date is now July 2007, not January. This was a tough decision to make, but much prayer and deliberation has confirmed that it was the right one. The moment I set foot back on South African soil God started working on my heart about all sorts of things, from my perspective about my family right through to my heart towards him. I know that this work is far from finished. Leaving in January would have left this foundation half-laid, and that is no way to start a new season in a new country. But as Paul said in his letter to the Philipians: And I am sure that God, who began the good work in you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus comes back again. (Phil1:6) I am hoping it won’t take quite as long as waiting until the day Christ returns…but hey! :)

Psalm 119:25-32

I lie in the dust, completely discouraged;
Revive me by your word.
I told you my plans, and you answered.
Now teach me your principles.
Help me understand the meaning of your commandments,
and I will meditate on your wonderful miracles.
I weep with grief;
Encourage me by your word.
Keep me from lying to myself;
Give me the privilege of knowing your law.
I have chosen to be faithful;
I have determined to live by your laws.
I cling to your decrees.
Lord, don’t let me be put to shame!
If you will help me,
I will run to follow your commands.

I love these few verses! They have been my prayer for the last 2 weeks. My favourite part is the fact that the Psalmist says I HAVE CHOSEN to be faithful. I HAVE DETERMINED to live by your laws. It is not something he leaves to chance, or even to his emotional state. He has already made the decision to do so. Even though he is downtrodden, discouraged and weeping, he knows that the only thing that can revive him is the word of God. His trust is completely in God.

I heard a very interesting statement about trust in God. Ps 119:105 says that ‘Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.’ Notice that the Word is a lamp, not a spotlight. God does not light up the entire way ahead of us. Just enough for us to not hit our foot against a rock. You see, if we could see the whole path we would not need to turn to God to ask for directions. This way, we are forced to make a choice- I can run in the direction I think I should go and run the risk of falling off a cliff, or I could learn to trust that God will direct my footsteps as he promises. When God told Abraham to move he did not say ‘Pack up your life and go due east for 60km, then turn to the north and go on for 2 days….’ No, he said ‘Go to the land which I will show you.’

I guess for the most part, my thoughts have been turning around the faithfulness of God. About how every aspect of who he is, is in response to our seeking him and how every part of his personality is a blessing to us. He is Yahweh Rapha- God who heals. Yahweh Yireh- God who provides. Yahweh Nissi- The Lord my banner. Yahweh Bore- The Lord Creator. Yahweh Shalom- The Lord is Peace. On top of all this, he is the Lord who ANSWERS. He is the answer. But he cannot be the answer until we ask the question, so His Spirit will prompt the question in us. The Psalms speak of this often- I cried out to God, and He answered me, but the best description of it I found in a song:

I called, you answered.
Lord you came to my rescue
and I want to be where you are.

That’s it. Plain and simple. I called and He answered. May He do the same for you.

Faith Like Potatoes

2006-10-29T20:47:00.000Z

Well, it has been a while since my last update, and so much has been happening lately!

Firstly, today was a special day at church- it was our official acceptance into the His People family. We got certificates to say that we are now covenant members and it was so special. They called all the new members up on stage to introduce them to the family and to have all the pastors pray over us. It is beautiful to see how much they value and cherish the new family members.

The sermon today was about love. What love is biblically and what love is not. It was really challenging. The pastor made a very interesting comment though, he said that there is a common misconception that the opposite of love is hate when in fact, the opposite of love is selfishness. Love is therefore a motive- the motive that drives us to do what we do. If our motive is self, it cannot be love, but if it is others, it flows from love. That’s one to think about.

I went to see a newly released film called Faith Like Potatoes last night. It is the true life story of a farmer in Kwazulu Natal called Angus Buchan. It is a story that inspired me more than any other has in a very long time! Check out the link for more info: http://www.faithlikepotatoes.com/inspire.html

On Friday passed I took the expression ‘a tourist in your own country’ to a whole new level! My uncle is a tour guide and he mostly has groups from countries like Belgium, Holland and the like. He has been on tour with a Flemish language group for the last few weeks and on Friday they were headed out to Hermanus for some Whale watching. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Hermanus, let me fill you in. Every year there is an influx of Southern Right Whales into the bay of Hermanus. It is usually around the end of winter/early spring. The cows come into the bay to calf and they usually remain until the calves are big enough to take on the trip to the other side of the ocean. On a good day you can usually see at least four to six whales in the bay- mothers and calves. Well, seeing as I was off work on Friday, my mum and I decided to join up with my uncle and his tour group on their tour bus and go whale watching as well. What a day! The group were a lively bunch and the language barrier was minute since Flemish and Afrikaans are so similar. We had a great day! We got take away fish & chips and sat on a bench overlooking the bay where we watched the mothers and calves having a grand old time. They are such playful animals! They were splashing their tails and fins and once or twice they even ‘breached’ or jumped out of the water with a tremendous splash. The best part about it is that the are so close to you. Usually you don’t see them close to the shore as the water is too shallow for them, but the bay allows them to sometimes be as close as 20 metres from the shore. Then, later in the afternoon the Whales were joined by a school of about 60-70 dolphins. You should have seen the calves go mad! They were jumping out of the water with the dolphins and basically just behaving like adolescent children- they were delightful! One of the most fascinating things is a guy who walks along the shore called the ‘whale-crier’. He walks with a long horn and whenever a whale is visible he lines himself up with it and blows his horn so people know where to look. Imagine that as a full time job!

Today after church we also went to a place in Stellenbosch called the Hillcrest Berry farm. It is true to its name in that it actually is a farm for berries. All sorts of berries. And they make jams from all these berries, and tea and honey and almost anything else you can think of making from berries. They have a café where you can have a light lunch, or the famous tea and scones. You get 2 scones and 2 little jams of your choice. There are jams you have never even heard of like Tayberry, Blackcurrant, Fig and Walnut, 4 Berry, Blackberry, Blueberry, Rasberry, Gooseberry, Pineapple and then list of blended jams. Choosing just 2 is almost impossible! The scones arrive warm and fresh out of the oven so that your butter still melts on them… Sigh… it is a little slice of heaven! Especially when you are sitting at a table surrounded by fragrant roses, with birds twittering all around and magnificent mountains towering all around you.

I have been working through Lisa Bevere’s Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry the last few weeks, and I highly recommend it! I was a bit skeptical at first since it sounded like it was going to be a bit ‘mushy’ for my liking, but I tell you that it gets into the nitty gritty’s of your life and it truly does make you realize how in love Jesus is with you and how much he desires to be loved back. I seriously challenge you to read it and not shed a tear- it is not a challenge I anticipate that you will be able to succeed at if you are honest in with yourself whilst reading it.

Anyhow, as you can see, life is on the go and I’m loving it. Hoping that I get some news from the north and the east pretty soon… :)

Challenge of the moment:

2006-10-04T21:18:00.000+01:00

What would you do or believe if you knew you could not fail?

Take a moment, take a day, take a week... ponder it, challenge yourself. What would you do? More importantly, what would you believe? It's my current challenge as I know that the Bible tells me that with Christ all things are possible, that I am more than a conqueror, that God makes all things work out for the good of those who love him, that he will never set before me a challenge that I cannot overcome.

Do I believe it? I'm not sure yet, but I'm working on it.

And you? Do you believe? I'll ask you one more time:

What would you do or believe if you knew you could not fail?

The Pilgrims Progress

2006-09-26T23:55:00.000+01:00

Ok, so my friend Clovergirl wrote this really beautiful post that really got me thinking about my own life and my own story. It’s a story of redemption, of love of forgiveness and most of all, of healing. I never realized I needed to be healed. In fact I never thought of myself as broken. It’s not that I didn’t think of myself, in fact, I though about myself all the time. Turns out that was part of the problem.

I heard a really beautiful story once: A teacher asked her young class of 30 kids a question-
“If you are looking after yourself, how many people do you have looking after you?”
“One.” Came the unanimous answer.
“Ok, so if all of you look after each other, how many people do you have looking after you?”
You could see the wheels turning and the little eyes widen in surprise as they did the math and realized that if they stopped worrying about themselves and started worrying about the people around them, suddenly the one turned to twenty-nine.

I never got that. Not really. With me, it was always number one first. I knew how to smile and what to say and how to act to make people think I was a nice person. I knew when to speak and when to shut up. I knew how to jump through hoops- if I would benefit from it. Now I’m not saying I was all bad, but I knew how to get what I wanted, and I used that to my benefit. I had lots of friends, but I dreaded letting anyone get really close to me. I didn’t want them to see that I was afraid, afraid that if they got close and saw me for what I was they would reject me. Even more, I was afraid that if I let them get close that I would start to care, and when you care, you can get hurt. When I was 15 my dad died in a motorcycle accident. I never learned how to deal with my grief, so I carried it with me wherever I went. It was the baggage that accompanied every one of my relationships. “Don’t let them in, then they can’t hurt you.” That became my philosophy. I closed my heart. I locked it and broke the key. I went from one relationship to the next, every time running a mile when I found out that someone started to care about me. I hurt many people in the way I feared being hurt and held no regard for their feelings, after all, if they wanted to feel, let them feel. I was on a one way downward spiral, and I didn’t like myself very much by that time. In fact I don’t think I like anyone very much, but I still knew how to ‘keep up appearances’. Nobody knew any better. The war inside me was pulling me to pieces and outside I was still smiling as sweetly as ever.

Then God happened.

Now let’s backtrack a little to about a month before my dad died. I was sort of involved in our school youth for Christ at the time, because some of my friends were there, so I went along. I figured I’d give it a try. I had been going to Sunday school since forever so decided that I would become a Christian. (note that this was all on MY terms, and according to MY convenience) I played the part and went along, I even tried prayer a few times. It didn’t do much for me, I didn’t FEEL anything. I always thought there should be more. Then the bomb dropped- “We’re sorry, your Dad was in an accident. He didn’t make it.”
WHAT? You’re kidding right? This a sick joke….right? No, turns out it’s real. Ever noticed how religion becomes really hollow in a situation like that? Where was God in all this? How could he let this happen to me? Blah Blah Blah. Me…me…me. I…I…I. Needless to say I got angry with God. I didn’t want much to do with him if he couldn’t look after me.

Back to ‘then God happened’. I was in London, had been there for a year and had been getting myself into al sort of situations I knew I shouldn’t be, but I didn’t really care. Then a friend invited me to church. In fact, she had invited me a few times, and I had excused myself every time. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want people to look at me and judge me. I didn’t want to look at my own life and somehow I knew that in church I would have to. But this time, she was staying at my place for the week-end, so I couldn’t really get myself out of it. I went. It was March the 7th 2004. She took me to Hillsong London, in the Mermaid Theatre at Blackfriars. I walked in and thought- ‘You’ve got to be kidding. This is NOT a church.’ But it was. There were people on the door to welcome us, there was a buzz in the foyer, a real excitement. I was blown away- people actually ENJOYED being there. People were happy to see me. The smiled and said hello (for anyone who has experienced London, you’ll know that this is an unusual occurance) and they seemed like pretty together people. There was a sign lit up as we walked in that said ‘Welcome Home’. I didn’t understand what I was feeling, a joy and a peace that I had never felt. I did feel welcome, it did feel like home, I felt like I ‘fit’. I enjoyed the service, the music was upbeat and lively, the people were singing along and dancing and no one in the congregation seemed over the age of thirty. At the end of the service there was an altar call. Oh boy. I hardly heard what was being said, my heart was racing, my blood was pumping, I felt cold all over, but I felt hot at the same time. My cheeks flushed. I didn’t know if I wanted to stand up or sit down or run outside or all of the above. Then came the question: If you would like to put your life right with God then raise your hand. And God said “You.” Me? “You, I want YOU.” What do you say when God says he wants you? I did the only thing I could think of- I put up my hand. Then I prayed the sinners’ prayer and that was it. I was a Christian. For real this time.

Contrary to popular belief it didn’t end there. My life wasn’t suddenly moonlight and roses and everything most certainly was not peachy. In fact, the next morning there seemed to be more wrong in my life than ever before, but this time the difference was that I wasn’t doing it alone anymore. I had to deal with many things and I’m still dealing with many things today. A few times I’ve wanted to throw in the ropes and say “That’s it, God. Let’s just call it quits.” But every time he has come through for me. He taught me how to love, first to love myself in order that I could love others. He showed me that nothing I do could make him love me more or less. He showed me that no matter what my past looks like, he has a future before me unlike anything I could ever imagine. But mostly he showed me that on my own I would only ever be crooked, at best, but with him I am complete.

I don’t deserve his love, his mercy or his forgiveness, yet he gives it freely to me every single day. He looks at me and sees Christ. He counts me as one of his children. These things are the miracle of God, a miracle I am thankful for every day. I pray he touches your life as profoundly as he continues to touch mine.

And so, the journey continues…

Back by Popular Demand (or, Part 2…)

2006-09-15T22:48:00.000+01:00

Well, due to the huge success of Part 1 and numerous requests for more, this is Part 2 of the Saga. (fine, it was 2 requests, but humour me, ok?)

So much has happened since Part 1, I can’t even begin to tell you, so let me say this, I’m getting married…. (HAHAHAHAHA, just checking to see if you’re concentrating, I think I would be more surprised than you at this stage if that were true)

I went to Boulders beach with my mum last week, it is such a beautiful little place. It’s a penguin sanctuary, and basically, you have penguins that walk? waddle? (whatever) right past you while you sit there. If you’re brave enough to face the freezing cold water they swim right past you. They are the cutest! I got some really great photos, I think the one may have been posing for the camera… I’m not sure, but he certainly became VERY aware of me when the camera came out. In fact he seemed to be trying to get my attention. Hehehe, what do you know… Vanity Penguin!

On a less gooey note (is that how you spell gooey? Must be, Thesaurus has positively identified it as: sticky, viscous, thick… blah blah blah) Anyway, here in Cape Town all the workers for Checkers (that’s like Asda or Tesco) have been on strike for over a month. Now, in case you have no experience with South African style strikes, let me enlighten you: Partakers do not sit and discuss the matter quietly and come to an agreement (some try, not many succeed) they run amok. There is usually much vandalism, looting and general chaos. Well, on Tuesday the rioters came charging through the centre where I work. Yes, that’s right, they came right past my front door, in fact. It was rather surreal, I heard what sounded like gunshots outside, hastily ended my phone conversation and ran to lock the front door. As I got the door closed the first of the rioters came running past. Needless to say, I got out of sight as soon as possible. There were 50-60 men who threw bricks and rocks through the glass doors at the centre entrance, they ripped the doors off and charged into Checkers, where they also tore the doors down, broke open all the tills and emptied them, stole all the cigarettes and generally destroyed whatever they could get their hands on. Then they charged back out and had the police on their tails in a matter of minutes. Hectic. Full on reality check there. The next day we had ‘hired thugs’ protecting the centre. Guys in full riot gear with shields and clubs and the works, just in case the rioters decided to come back. What an experience! I tell you the amazing thing though, after my initial fright wore off, I was so calm and collected. I sat on the floor and prayed the word: ‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.’ And I had no fear. God was there, sitting on the floor next to me telling me that it was ok. It was fantastic.

Ok, enough of that, change the subject. I’m going to a Jazz festival tomorrow evening with my mum and a friend. Can’t wait, sounds like it’s gonna be brilliant! One thing though, I was sorting out what to wear since it will be a nice evening out and I have pretty much been living in my jeans since getting back when SHOCK, HORROR, I tried on my trousers and…yes, that’s right… THEY WON’T EVEN DO UP ANYMORE!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! It’s all the home cooking and mum feeding me every time she gets an opportunity, it has taken it’s toll, and now? My clothes don’t fit! So as of today I’m watching what I eat, and next week I’m starting cycling so I can shake off this weight that has firmly planted itself on my person without invitation. (why do I suddenly get a feeling of gloom hanging over me?)

Sigh, on that note I’m signing off Part 2. Please send news, or comments or whatever.

The Saga, Part 1 (this is a long one...)

2006-09-04T21:38:00.000+01:00

Ok, so I have been as scarce as chicken teeth the last few weeks, I know that, but unfortunately that can’t be helped. Internet is no longer freely available, and dial up… well, you’ve heard me whinge and whine about that enough.

It certainly has been an interesting 5 weeks since leaving London, I assure you that! Other that enjoying the company of my family, I have now started work. I’m working in a vetshop selling specialist dog and cat food and all sorts of stuff. I’m also doing a course on animal nutrition as part of my job training, which is pretty cool! The hours are quite long, but the work is enjoyable and the people are really nice. It feels really odd to be in a stress free work environment, I can tell you that much!

Before I forget, it’s Clovergirl’s Birthday today, so let’s all wish her a VERY happy birthday together…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CLOVERGIRL,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.

HIP-HIP…. HOORAY!!!!!!!!
Now, blow out your imaginary candles and make a wish.
Love you stax girl, hope it was a great day!

Ok, so back to the last few weeks…

Church is good. It really is so different to Hills in so many ways, but yet, the heart is the same. In the evenings we sing loads of Hillsong songs and then I can almost make myself believe that I’m right there among all my friends, worshipping. Last night was an all-worship service that really went off, it was the first time I had seen the whole congregation get involved, they were jumping and going mad- felt just like home. I really love my cell-group leaders, they are beautiful people who have just decided to become full-time missionaries. All in all they are fabulous people who love God wholeheartedly and want to see the whole world come to know him as well.

God has been amazing as well (not that that ever changes) but he has been so patient and good to me. In spite of my (fairly regularly) stinking attitude and my little tantrums and pity parties, he is showing me increasingly how faithful he is. No matter how much I rage and beat my fists, he is there waiting. Patiently waiting for me to get over myself and look back up at him. How can you explain something like that? I am so thankful that his patience is greater than mine, ‘cause I would have given myself a good kick up the backside a few times. But he is love and we know that:

‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.’
(1 Cor 13:4-7)

Even though I miss London and my family there terribly, I can see why God needed me to be here for a season. My other family needs me now, and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be here for them in whatever capacity I can be.

Now comes the part where I make all of you really jealous… the weather is getting so much nicer here. Days are getting long and the temperature is rising steadily. I have been to the beach a few times and just walked for hours in the soft sand. Every morning I wake up, walk outside and right in front of me are the most beautiful mountains stretching all the way around. No matter which way I go, there are mountains and flowers and blue skies… (I’m going to stop now… I can see all the green faces as you read this, and I really do want you to still speak to me after this.)

Right, well that will have to be PART 1 of my ‘being back’ Saga, I don’t want you to have to read for hours. I look forward to hearing all the news from the other side of the world, anything and everything from the biggest to the most mundane.

This is me signing off- Over and Out.

Here I am!

2006-08-22T21:13:00.000+01:00

Yes, I'm still alive for those of you who wonder... :)
I don't have such easy access to internet now as I used to, also, I'm now on dial-up which is not the greatest, so there won't be any new photo's as yet. Not until I can get to a broadband setup.

The last two weeks have been a fantastic holiday. I've been eating practically non-stop and we have been to so many different places. I've been winetasting in Stellenbosch, been walking on the beach at Blouberg strand, been up the west coast to see the beautiful flowers, went to Simonstown on the breakfast train, went to Paarl Rock today to a flower reserve there... all in all it's been verybusy and very enjoyable. It's really good to be with the family for a bit.

I went to His People church two weeks ago and have joined a cell group which I thoroughly enjoy. The teaching is good and sound and the cell group discussions are interesting and challenging. I love the people there, they are an amazing bunch of people, even though I just met them.

I have no less than 3 interviews tomorrow to see if I can start work soon. One is with an agency and the other is as a waitress in a good steakhouse. Will see what happens.

I'm going to a music gig with my cousin tomorrow, should be good.

I forgot how beatiful the Cape is, I haven't stopped taking photo's of the mountains and the ocean and the flowers and all sorts. It's really nice to be here. Even though I miss my London family more than I ever though possible!

Well, that's a quick update. I'll hopefully be back with more news soon. In the meantime, please don't forget about me... :)

What a Week-end!

2006-08-06T20:21:00.000+01:00

It's been a pretty full on week-end, but it's been GREAT! We went out on the Quad bikes yesterday and today, and I tell you what- it was amazing! I've never actually ridden a bike by myself, not one with gears, anyway, but I loved the Quads. They will go ANYWHERE. (and I do mean ANYWHERE) I will post some of the photo's when I have a chance, we were doing some serious jumps and bundu-bashing (that's like going out in the middle of nowhere into ravines and rivers and stuff, for the non-saffas) and getting into the mud and dirt and all sorts. Yesterday we rode at Daytona and today we were at an abondoned mine dump. I am still blowing dust out of my nose, but it was worth it!

I fly to Cape Town to see my Mum and my other brother and family tomorrow. I will then also get to see the beach again, and the mountains and all the beautiful landscape. Also, it's flower season in the Namakwaland, so it will be the first time I get to see the flowers in bloom. I can't wait!

Serious Issues!

2006-08-03T18:04:00.000+01:00

I have been trying ALL afternoon to load the other 4 photos of my favourite things, but we will not say anything about South African internet connections. I will keep trying. Hopefully tomorrow you will get the remainder.

When the Dog Bites, when the Bee Stings....

2006-08-02T10:57:00.000+01:00

when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so BAAAAAAAAAAAAD.....

(how many of you hate me right now for putting that song in your head? Hehehe... Evil laugh)

Ok, so this post is going to be dedicated to my favourite things. Now for those of you who do not know me, I am not a girly girl. I do not do pink and sparkles and ribbons and the like. It's just not me. I have friends who do these things VERY well, and I love that about them, but I feel like a complete dope in that stuff. (please see Clovergirl and Mishy-Jo's posts to see how this is done...you can learn a lot from these two)

I am more into adventure. I like fast cars and bikes, I love my rollerblades and my mountainbike (which I haven't ridden in a LONG time), I like doing things because people don't think I can, I love war movies and fighter jets and helicopters. I love adrenaline. I used to be a bit of a junkie, but 3 years in London and a bit of growing up have toned me down a little. In fact, I used to be a little (maybe a lot) crazy and I have the broken tooth to prove it.

Now I am a mixture of all these things and this is a taste of some of my favourite things. First on the list would have to be my friends, but this list is based more on things I own.

My ever faithful K2 Velocity skates with Orange trim.

My leatherman and wallet card. You have no idea how handy these are in a jam. This is the girl scout in the coming out- always be prepared!

Before you completely lose hope, my 'Galaxy' pendant, complete with different colour marbles to match any outfit.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Maybe not the best, but they come close! Wearing this will make any girl feel like the princess she is. Even if she's a warrior princess.

I seem to be having some serious issues loading the othe images, I will have to try another tactic...

The Scientist

2006-08-01T09:44:00.000+01:00

I'm sitting in brother's office at the moment. He works from home and had the garden flat converted into his office. He is working at his computer and I am sitting at his secretary's, who is off sick. Other than the odd typing noise or maybe the phone ringing it's quiet. So quiet that I can listen to the wind shushing outside. I love the sound of the wind. It reminds me of when I was a little girl lying in bed and there was a big storm outside. You could almost feel the windows moving under the pressure, but it was never scary. It was safe. I was inside in my bed. My parents were asleep just down the hall. Nothing could hurt me or scare me in that place. I would just lie there and listen. Eventually I would fall asleep to the lullaby of the elements against my window.

Many things have changed since then, but sitting here I feel that same peace and security. I am not a little girl anymore, and my parents are not just down the hall, but I am not afraid. The lyrics of Coldplay's The Scientist have been turning in my head:

Nobody said it was easy
Oh its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Im going back to the start

God never DID say it would be easy. His promise was never that there wouldn't be a storm. His promise was that when the storm hit, he would help us to walk on water. His promise is that He will never leave us or forsake us (Josh 1:5), that everywhere our foot finds place to tread we will be on land that he has already given us (Josh 1:3) that He both precedes and follows us (Ps 139:5). And I take comfort in that. Outside, the storm is raging. The wind is howling. My windows are being buffeted but I stand firm. He made me a promise: Be strong and courageous for you will lead my people to inherit the land I swore to give to their ancestors. Be strong and very courageous. (Josh 1:6) And he is faithful. I am holding on to that promise. It is my strength. It is my confidence. He is good and does only good (Ps 119:68). That is my foundation and on it will I stand.

So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong. (Heb 12:12-13)

Well Amen to that!

I'm Back

2006-07-31T16:44:00.000+01:00

Well, this is my first post from SA. As you can gather I made it here in one piece and actually had a good flight. I was up in the bubble on the 747, I dunno if you've ever flown there, but it's probably the best place you could possibly be as there are fewer seats and so more room. I was right up at the front, so no seats in front of me, and stax of legroom. I also had a window seat, and in the upper deck there are also luggage compartments on the sides, which means I had a great foot rest as well. Perfect.

I didn't sleep much, only about an hour, but that was ok. I saw the most incredible sunrise! I always love sunrise or sunset from the air, but this was particularly beautiful. The sky started to go really deep blue, and then a slight silvery line appeared on the horizon. From there the colour exploded like fire. First light yellow then orange then red... fading to green and blue at the end. Pretty soon the whole spectrum was there, like a huge horizontal rainbow: Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, Red... they were all there. I sat and watched it and wondered how anyone could ever see something like that and not believe in God? How could something that amazing 'just happen'? I complimented God on a beautiful job, to which he replied 'This one's for you, my baby.' My first sunrise in a new season, and it was spectacular.

So I'm here at my brother's place at the moment and we've just been chilling. It's been great hanging out with them for a change. We had a Braai (BBQ) last night and the food was brilliant. I forgot how good meat is in SA.

The weather has been beautiful, considering it's winter. Evenings are cool, but the days are amazing. I've been going around in pretty much summer gear.

Tonight I'm cooking, and I'm making sweet and sour chicken and cashew nut stir-fry with rice, and I made a fridge tart for dessert. Yum.

Well, on that note, I had better go get started on the food, else we won't eat tonight.

I'm here for another week, so I'll be back soon with more news.

(Oh, and a quick added PS, Fridge Tart is a dessert that is well known and loved in South Africa. There are many varieties, but basically it is a sweet tart that needs to be refridgerated. I made a very simple VERY sweet one with Coconut biscuits, condensed milk with lemon juice and caramel, topped with peach slices... I can hear the ooooh's and aaaaah's as you appreciate the wonder of that!)

It's the Final Countdown

2006-07-28T02:07:00.000+01:00

OMG, I have 19 hours left in London! EEEEEEK! Don't get my wrong, I'm stoked about the next season, but... FAR OUT, this is the end of a 3 year season. It's been a heck of a journey, and it finished on such a high! Tonight was the perfect finish. The girls took me to the theatre and we saw the Rat Pack. It was GREAT! And I was so blown away, cause I didn't know what we were going to see as none of the girls really like Jazz, but because they know how much I love it, they all sat through 2.5 hours of Frank Sindatra, Sammy Davis Jr and Dean Martin. THAT is real love!

We then walked along the river to Westminster and came home. It was perfect weather, and the lights on the river were amazing, as always. All in all it was the best way I could ever have finished.

I'm now going to sort through the last of my photos and stuff so that in the morning I can just pack my last stuff into boxes, get ready, and head to the airport. So here are the photos from tonight. The next time you hear from me will probably be from JHB at my brother's place and I will be able to tell you all about the flight and all those marvellous things.

Lion King

2006-07-27T00:46:00.000+01:00

Went to see Lion King tonight, and it was really fantastic! It made me miss Africa so much, the music and the dancing and the languages... I'm looking forward to being back there for a few months. There si something magical about Africa that always stays with you, no matter where you go.

Here are a few of the pics from tonight, the show and walking around in London after to get to the tube. It's been a great night, the weather was amazing. On the way home there was some serious lightning happening- I hope we have a thunderstorm tonight. It'll break the heat a bit.

My Last Sunday

2006-07-26T11:49:00.000+01:00

So Sunday was my last day at church. And it was a really good day! It was also a day I will never forget. We arrived for the first service, everything got started, the music the atmosphere... church was on. Then, Tim did the altar call. It was powerful (it is also usually at the end of the service, nit the beginning) and lots of people got saved. I had goosebumps and tears and all that stuff.

Then we kept worshipping- I lift my hands to the heavens, for the Lord our God is here...
And then it goes dark. No house lights, no stage lights, no amps.... no power. But the drums kept going, and the crowd kept singing. Louder and louder, more and more powerful until I thought the roof would lift off the building and we would see God looking down on us. It was unreal!

And then Gary is standing in front of us, trying to get us to hush up so he can try and project his voice over 2500 people to tell us what was happening... Please stay calm, there is no power in the building, we're not sure what happened yet.
Take a seat and remain quiet until we can tell you what needs to happen next.

This is a first.

Next thing one of the venue staff is on stage with a megaphone telling us in a high-pitched voice to please follow the instructions of the staff and evacuate the building. FOR REAL! We had to evacuate. (Thank God we had already done the altar call, huh?)

And so the first service could not continue. There were power cuts throughout central London and there was nothing we could do. Whole city blocks were dark. We could only hope that there would be power later on for the afternoon services. We went for lunch in the park and hung out with mates. and half and hour before the 4:30 service was due, we got the ok that things could go ahead. PHEW! I was really nervous that I might not make it to church on my last day... THAT would have sucked! But all went well, services were great and saying goodbye was not as bad as I thought. God's peace was with me in a big way.

So now I need to finish packing my boxes today and tomorrow, and watch Lion King tonight and another show with the girls tomorrow, then Friday I hop on a plane... Wow. But you know what? I'm ok with it. I wasn't before, but I'm really looking forward to what's coming.

So, it's you and me God... BRING IT ON!

My Last 'Welcome Home'

The Beautiful Peeps in the Auditorium

Word Verification?

2006-07-26T11:27:00.000+01:00

Ok, so any of you who have tried to comment on this blog and many other blogs will have come across something known as 'Word Verification'. This little tool is marvelous in the blogging community as it blocks computer generated spam comments. The last thing we want on our blogs are sleazy comments from people who don't even read what we write! I do, however, have ONE gripe... Why is it called WORD verification? I have never had to actually had to verify a WORD, just garbled text. The last 'word' I had was KYRNPVC. Now I don't speak Russian, but even if I did I don't think I would find that in their vocabulary! So here's a thought: Word Verification 2006: Encouragement Version.

Scenario: Someone wants to leave a comment on a blog, they type their comment and post. Word Verification 2006: Encouragement Version kicks in with 'Please verify the word in the box below'
And in the box:
Smile!
or
Have a nice day!
or
You're beautiful!
or something.
Wouldn't that be better than nonexistant Russian words?
I think I'm onto something here...

Random

2006-07-21T09:49:00.000+01:00

The curtain slowly falls and the house lights are turned up. There stands the lone figure... applauding the crowd.

It is the end of an era.

Today was my farewell. It was a really good day. We has STAX of food, great weather (even the hour of rain was great because it cooled things down significantly) and best of all, good friends. It was a day of hanging out. I loved it.

I'm sitting in the lounge now and all the people have gone, we've cleaned up and most of the house have either gone to bed or are on their way, so I'm sitting on the floor listening to Counting Crows (probably not the best choice right now) and wondering what this is that I'm feeling. I have the uncomfortable thought that I am avoiding what my heart is telling me, and that is always dangerous as it has a way of exploding in your face. I am not sure if I want to laugh or cry or scream so I do none of them. My head is holding on to the promises of God and the knowledge that He is in control. That His plans are for good and not for evil and that he has great designs on my life:

Joshua 1:3-7 I promise you what I promised Moses: `Everywhere you go, you will be on land I have given you' No one will be able to stand their ground against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. "Be strong and courageous, for you will lead my people to possess all the land I swore to give their ancestors. Be strong and very courageous.

My head KNOWS this but my heart seems to be avoiding the subject completely. Tomorrow is my last day at church. That sounds so final: my LAST Sunday. Oh there it goes... what was that? My heart twinged just then. Maybe it's not avoiding the subject, maybe I am avoiding the subject.

It is not love we fear, but the absence of love.

But I am encouraged by something I realised recently:

Psalm 84 :6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs, where pools of blessing collect after the rains!

Do you see that? The weeping does not necessarily cease, but there is blessing to be found in the Valley. We learn to take joy in our sorrows, because we understand the blessing that comes from going through these things. Interesting. So when I start losing it tomorrow I'll remember that. It's all building my character.

Now, before I get even more random (and I think this is the most random I have been so far...) I'm gonna post some photo's from today.
I will attempt to have future posts make more sense.

Hi girls! Smile!

Inside, out of the rain.

The Matrix: Dodge This!

Reservoir Dogs

Monna and Ayesha... uhm, yeah.

Hours of Entertainment

I think they might be bored...?

Spot the Maniac

Ok, so you're gonna miss me!

Blogosphere

2006-07-20T13:50:00.000+01:00

Okay, I TOTALLY stole the title of this post from Clovergirl, but it was such a cool title I just had to use it. I thought I would dedicate this post to a few of my blogger buddies and have

BLOG FEATURES

featuring the wit and wisdom of

Amy: Clovergirl
Sarah: Sez
Tate: Tato Fantastico
Zoe: Just plain Zoe

Now these are not all the people in our blogging community, but then I didn't think you wanted to be here for hours reading through blog by blog by blog. So I had to choose a few. That's life I'm afraid. For a full ist please see the right hand sidebar under 'Wisdom of People in My Life'.

These guys have some fabulous posts, some HILARIOUS, some thoughful, some weird and other just plain RANDOM. But this is them in their finest hour, so check them out, leave a comment or two (your 2 cents worth is always appreciated, or in England it's Tuppence).

They'll make you laugh, they'll make you scratch your chin in wonder and they'll most likely make you shake your head in disbelief. Check them out, they're a pretty cool bunch.

Enjoy!

My Sophisticated Diet

2006-07-18T15:30:00.000+01:00

Forget the Atkins Diet, forget Jordan Ruben's Daniel diet, forget any diet you've ever heard of- I have a whole new concespt on dieting, and this is what it looks like:
So far today I have had:

* 1 Starbucks Grande Latte
* 1 Starbucks Blueberry Muffin
* 1 Cup of Coffee upon arrival at work
* About 2 litres of Water
* 1/2 a Packet of Carrs Cheese Melts
* 1 Tesco Ploughman's Sandwich
* 1 Tesco Fruit Salad
* 1 Orange Callipo Frozen Lolly

It's a revolution! (that's my new favourite word. I didn't have a favourite word before, but it's the new one.) No more eating what other people tell you- eat what you feel like!
(ok- we'll see how long this lasts... I'm hoping that like most diet fads this will pass soon... else I might have some trouble getting into my clothes in the not too distant future.)

London Weather

2006-07-17T14:30:00.000+01:00

CHECK OUT THESE TEMPERATURES!!!!!!!
WHOOOOOHOOO!

5 Day forecast

(Go figure that I'm leaving the good weather behind...)

Everything - Lifehouse

2006-07-17T12:04:00.000+01:00

Read the lyrics. It says it all. This is in response to Tato's post Random Thoughts

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Fight like a Girl

2006-07-15T18:38:00.001+01:00

We had a women's day today with Lisa Bevere as guest speaker. It was my first time hearing her speak and OH MY WORD! She rocks! She's into bikes and surfing and skiing and cool stuff like that. And she is a formidable speaker. Another facet of the diamond of women in the Kingdom. She spoke about women needing to be women and men needing to be men. About the 'Battle of the Sexes' being a result of the fall when we started contending with each other, not being allied with each other. What she spoke about came out of her book 'Fight like a Girl', which I bought, because I think there are some mindsets that may possibly (ahem... okay, definitely) need to change in that area of my life.

It was amazing though, because some of the stuff that she spoke about was what God spoke to me about in March last year. About coming from a position of who you are. Knowing who you are and so releasing others to be who they are supposed to be. I was struggling with my identity last year. REALLY struggling. I knew that there was a HUGE dream in my heart but I had no idea how the outworking of that would happen, because I had no idea who I wanted to be. (forget who God had created me to be, at that point it was all about ME...) But as I was wrestling with God about it He really revealed some pretty powerful stuff. This is what I wrote as he was speaking to me:

'God, who am I?  What do you think of me?  What is my real name?   
You are my Wallace.'   
'Ego numquam pronunciare mendacium, sed ego sum homo indomitus.'
(I never tell lies, but I am a savage.)   

(From Waking the Dead, by John Eldredge)

God, who am I?  

A cold voice answered: 'Come not between the Nazgul and his prey!
Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the
house of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall
be devoured and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.'   

A sword rang as it was drawn. 
'Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may.'   

'Hinder me?  Thou fool.  No living man may hinder me!'

........   

'But no living man am I!  You look upon a woman.
Eowyn am I, Eomond's  daughter.
You stand between me and my lord and kin.'

.........  

A little to the left facing them stood she whom he had
called Dernhelm. But the helm of her secrecy had fallen from her,
and her bright hair, released from its bonds, gleamed with pale
gold upon her shoulders. Her eyes grey as the sea were hard and fell,
and yet tears were on her cheek. A sword was in her hand,
and she raised her shield against the horror of her enemy's eyes. 
Eowyn it was, and Dernhelm also.

.........   

Suddenly the great beast beat its hideous wings, and the wind
of them was foul. Again it leapt into the air, and then swiftly
fell down upon Eowyn shrieking, striking with beak and claw. 
Still she did not blench: maiden of the Rohirrim,
child of kings, slender but as a steel blade,  fair but terrible.
A swift blow she dealt, skilled and deadly.

.........  

Then tottering, struggling up, with her last strength she drove her  
sword between crown and mantle, as the great shoulders bowed before her.   
The sword broke sparkling into many shards.   

(From The Lord of the Rings, Return of the King,
The Battle of Pelennor  Fields)

Eowyn.  Daughter of Kings.  Hope of her people.  Woman, princess...  
Warrior.  She knew herself, saw the warrior that
no-one would allow her to be because she was a woman. 
She knew her destiny was on the field of battle  
with her king.  Forced to be what she was not,
forced to disguise herselfto get to the place her heart
longed to be.  Now not Lady Eowyn, but nobleman Dernhelm. 
And yet, when her moment came, when she met her destiny,
it was who she was that saved her, not who she pretended to be. 
'the helm of her secrecy had fallen from her.'
When she met her foe the pretence could not save her, but herself could.
Her confidence in who  she was: a woman, a princess, a WARRIOR. 

God, who am I?  What do you think of me?  What is my real name?   

You are my Eowyn.

Father's Love Letter

2006-07-14T17:58:00.000+01:00

This is a beautiful letter from the heart of God to you. Check the website for printable versions and cards and free resources: Father's Love Letter

My Child

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad.

David Crowder Band

2006-07-14T11:56:00.000+01:00

These guys are the absolute BEST! They are pure musical GENNI! Voted MSN artist of the month for July, they even beat Nelly Furtado. Their new album 'B Collision' is a collection of 'A Collision' songs remade. If you want to hear a different take on Christian music, these guys are the way forward. They have powerful lyrics, a varied style and a fabulous look.

Check these links for more info:
David Crowder Band
David Crowder MySpace
David Crowder Blog

Seriously- go and get one of their albums, you WILL NOT be disappointed!

Photo Diary

2006-07-13T22:41:00.000+01:00

This is almost a photo diary of the last few days... and my countdown to leaving on the 28th. I had my last Discovery this week, also my last connect group :( and I've had to start saying goodbye to people already. I don't do goodbye well. Had my 'farewell dinner' at work tonight, even though I'm still working until next Friday. My boss flies to Canada on Wed, so my last 3 days will be pretty carefree.

The Natural History Museum

The Diana Memorial Garden

Proud to be British

My last connect group, in Parson's Green

Saatchi: Look Ma, no hands!

The Man. Go Yas.

Monique and I, me and my self-portraits.

Yeah, I ordered the Chocolate, and Yeah, I'm gonna finish it.
I'm well impressed Em.

Tony: How do I work this thing????

Admit it- you're glad to see me go! :)

6 Months, 3 Continents,1 Excited Person

2006-07-13T17:10:00.000+01:00

Well, this is not something I ever thought I'd be able to say, but in the next 6 months I'll be living on 3 different continents. In 3 fantastic cities.

I'll be in:

LONDON

CAPE TOWN

SYDNEY

This is just such a dream come true, even thought it's a bit surreal, but I know that it's real God-opportunity and I am SO ready to start the new season. Will keep you posted on what's happening!

Bummer

2006-07-13T14:42:00.000+01:00

I was writing this post yesterday, and it was a LONG one. All about Gary's message on Sunday and then, guess what??? My PC crashed! It just stopped. Froze. Wouldn't do anything. At all. I had some charming thoughts and wonderful phrases started forming in my subconscious, most of them unpleasant and having something to do with a PC hard drive, a machete, petrol and a lit match... (you get the picture)

So I had to restart. You know, I never fully appreciated the wonder of the gmail 'draft autosave' until yesterday... when I realised that Blogger.com is not gmail and they do not have autosave. *Gulp* You guessed it (I hear that sharp intake of breath... the sheer horror and disbelief is felt even through the channels of cyberspace.) I lost it. ALL of it. Well, actually, I had the 1st paragraph saved, but hadn't bothered to save again. (And as I am typing this I'm thinking I should save this one before something happens to this as well.... hold on... OK, I saved it.) But you know how once you've spent all that time and energy typing and pouring your thoughts out once, you just can't seem to face it again? (thus the appeal of multi-person e-mails...) So I guess that means it's lost. Gone. Dead and buried. But I thought I might just pay it a tribute, since it was a LOT of typing to just go missing without anyone knowing about it.

To all you bloggers who have lost a post before....

This one's for you!

Talkin Bout A Revolution

2006-07-11T10:22:00.000+01:00

Dont you know
They're talkin bout a revolution
It sounds like a whisper
Dont you know
They're talkin about a revolution
It sounds like a whisper.

Tracy Chapman

Cool song, huh? But that's not really what I'm on about. I talking more about revolution in my thinking. I had breakfast with a friend this morning, before work. Yes, BEFORE work. I got out of bed early to do this. I set my alarm last night thinking... Why am I doing this again? But you know what, I'm SO happy I did. I had the BEST time. We had the best conversation, and it started my day on such a high. It's a window of opportunity that I always thought was closed and painted shut, but I just found out that it actually swings open rather easily once it's unlatched. A whole new world has just opened before me- the 'Early Morning Breakfast' world. Perfect!

Revolution: n 1: a drastic and far-reaching change in ways of thinking and behaving.

Viva La Revolution!

Thought For The Day

2006-07-08T13:14:00.000+01:00

"What good is the armour of God without the warrior on the inside?"
Phil Dooley

07/07 First Year Memorial

2006-07-07T12:38:00.000+01:00

Today is 07/07. On this date last year the London bombs went off and shook up the city I call home. The terrorist bombs claimed the lives of 52 people. Today, one year later we observed a 2 minute silence in memorial of the victims and to honour the emergency service workers who were involved in their respective fields. The BBC website has a memorial page with photos and obituaries of the victims.

BBC News

Also, Virgin Radio, after observing the 2 minute silence played 3 songs that were requested by the families of the victims. Very suitable choices, I thought:
Something Inside So Strong, by Labi Siffre - Lyrics
Bridge Over Troubled Waters, by Simon & Garfunkel - Lyrics
Lean On Me, by Bill Withers - Lyrics

After that they played Fix You, by Coldplay. This is an amazing song:

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

So there we go. One year later and the city still stands. In fact, it stands stronger that ever before. Well done London. I'm so proud of you.

Band of Brothers

2006-07-05T15:58:00.000+01:00

This is an amazing war documentary, in fact, I think it's possibly the best I've seen. I really should get hold of it watch it again. There is one scene where one of the men from Easy company quotes a part of William Shakespeare's Henry V. It is a scene that I always remember, one that seems so poignant and significant that it has to be true to our everyday life.

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

--William Shakespeare

Don't you love that? I love the statement that the gentlemen now a-bed will call themselves accursed that they were not there, not part of the action. I almost feel like that's what a lot of Christians will be doing one day. They'll call themselves accursed that they did not get into the fray, get into the action. The battle is raging all around them, yet they are comfortably a-bed and not taking any interest or any part of it. The General is calling His troops to arms. He has taken a stand, His robe dipped in blood (Rev 19:13), and he is leading the way into the battle. He is calling us to stand, to take a firm grip with our tired hands and mark out a straight path for our feet so that those who follow, though they are tired and lame will not stumble, but will become strong. (Heb 12:12-13)

He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. (Luke 10:2-3)

We Few, we happy few, we Band of Brothers.

SATURDAY!

2006-07-01T14:02:00.000+01:00

It's SATURDAY!!!!!!
YEAH!
I'm off to Hyde Park now.
Ta-ta dahling...

London Pub Walk

2006-07-01T11:58:00.000+01:00

A few of us went on a Pub Walk around London last night. It was really good. You have a tour guide and you visit about 4 pubs. You get history lessons along the way about the city and the pubs. It was along the Thames river, and the weather was PERFECT! We started at Blackfriars tube and then wandered along the South bank of the river and we ended up at Borough Market and London Bridge. We walked for over 2 hours, but it was great.

Kimberly is having her farewell in Hyde Park today, so going to be hanging out in the park (the weather is perfect for it) and chilling out together. She goes back to Canada on Tuesday. Funny enough today is Canada day, so HAPPY CANADA DAY to all of you.

Enjoy the pics.

Marcia, Brett, Yumi, Ayesha, Jake, Mandy, Cherie

Shakespeare's Globe Theatre

Brett, Mandy, Marcia

Millenium Bridge and St. Paul's

Bebo

2006-06-29T14:03:00.000+01:00

I got invited to join this site by a friend.
I've only just got started, so there's not much there yet. But save the address anyway. :)

Bebo

Book Of The Year!

2006-06-29T10:02:00.000+01:00

This is definitely the book of the year in my opinion, Velvet Elvis, by Rob Bell.
What an amazing read. What an interesting look at the Christian faith. What a challenge.
Beautiful!

Check out the link: Velvet Elvis

Check out this exerpt from the book:

"We have to test everything. I thank God for anybody anywhere who is pointing people to the mysteries of God. But those people would all tell you to think long and hard about what they are saying and doing and creating. Test it. Probe it. Do that to this book. Don't swallow it uncritically. Think about it. Wrestle with it. Just because I’m a Christian and I’m trying to articulate a Christian worldview doesn’t mean I’ve got it nailed. I’m contributing to the discussion. God has spoken, and the rest is commentary, right?"

Packing... YUCK!

2006-06-24T18:48:00.000+01:00

I have today literally been packing and sorting my stuff ALL DAY! It is scary how much stuff I have already thrown away. I did not realise how much junk I had accumulated in the years I have been here and now I'm having to pay for that in TIME.

*Sigh*

Oh well. Such is life.

The GREAT news is that I got my acceptance from Hillsong College this week, so now all my real preparation can start with my visa application and all those things. It's all good!

I now have 4 weeks left in London and I intend to make the most of the time I have. There will be much socialising and catching up with people before I go.

Anyhoo, I'd better get back to packing and sorting.

Article

2006-06-16T17:56:00.000+01:00

Article off Church Marketing Sucks

It’s Your Church, Now Act Like It

(Filed under: Philosophy)

The building where I work is two miles from the heart of downtown Los Angeles, and from the windows in my office, I can see the entire city skyline. This is especially unimpressive after living in the Chicago area and being to New York City on many occasions, not to mention several other large cities around the world. Los Angeles just doesn’t compare to the grandness of urban planning like most of the world cities in its class. This is not a new conversation or frustration; many have opined for many years on this issue.

My reaction to the criticism of downtown Los Angeles was met with a mixture of anticipation and exhilaration. Old buildings are being renovated into apartments, once famous hotels are now upscale condos. Los Angeles is on the path to becoming...

That’s just it; what is it becoming? In a city where “wannabe” and “just like” are the modus operandi for a culture drowning in its own self-interest, what will a new downtown really do?

I think we’re too busy trying to be something we are not.

When it comes to telling others about your church, what are you saying? Do you tell people what you wish your church would be? Do you tell people what they wish your church would be? When will the tag line on your bulletin actually reflect what your church is about? If your church regularly has a special anointing for the Holy Spirit to move – with all its messiness and uncomfortable spirituality – quit toning it down to reach someone who won’t understand. People know genuineness when they see it. If your church does drama and media presentations really well, but people are not responding, quit wasting precious resources on methods that might not work for your church. Just because you can get a good deal on a video projector with cool vignettes to show in your services, doesn’t mean more people will respond.

Be who you are. Let the church be who it should be. And don’t try and promote the church until you’ve figured that out. KFC recently learned this same lesson and it would behoove you to do the same.

As for me, I’m going to continue watching out my window as Los Angeles learns an expensive lesson in becoming and being something it is not.

Posted by Brad Abare

How good is God?!?

2006-06-15T13:38:00.000+01:00

I'm just so stoked at the moment, I had to get this out there! You know how you sometimes have those 'not so subtle' reminders of the goodness and faithfulness of God? Well today has been like that for me, in a BIG way!

Yesterday we had connect group and was really feeling so out of it, and pretty emotional as we were discussing all the things that are coming up in the life of our church... all the things I won't be here for. To say that it cut deep would be an understatement. We took communion and prayed and it was really beautiful and I was so thankful to be part of what was happening there, but at the same time I was wondering how the next season would be without these people who are so much a part of my life. I even got to a point where I was asking God if I was making a mistake. Wanting to know if all of this was just something I had dreamed up, if my motivation was all wrong for wanting to do this and all those insecurities that will pop their head up when you are feeling vulnerable.

Anyway, so I went to bed feeling low and my roommate wasn't there which made the situation seem even MORE intimidating (you know how you can see more realistically when there is someone else's perspective to help?). On top of that I have been looking at my financial situation and wondering how studying would work if I couldn't save up enough money here. Would I be able to save enough in SA? (it didn't matter that God says that HE is my provider... my head kept going to 'Will I have enough...?') So on Sunday I gave an offering above my tithe, saying to God that He knew that I needed Him to come through for me. That I was stepping out into His promise in Malachi 3:10 - 'Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.' Well I was testing Him, and I was telling Him that.

This morning seemed better when I woke up, but I was still not 100%. So I went to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and while I was there I opened a card that a friend had left me. The words really hit home, and inside was a cheque for quite a lot of money. She had been promted by God and she had responded. He was saying: 'I AM. I AM provider. I AM with you. I AM in control. I AM faithful.'

Back in my room, trying to regain composure, wiping away tears this is what plays on the radio:

by Matthew West

Take a look at the mountains
Stretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean 
Far as your eye can see
And think of Me

Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am

And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look around you
I'm spelling it out one by one

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today 
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more

Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to Me

And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today 
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

Shine for Me 
Shine for Me
Shine on, shine on
Shine for Me

(Chorus)
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today 
And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again
I love you more 

(Chorus) 
Than the sun 
and the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you, yesterday and today
Through the joy and the pain 
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you more

And I see you 
And I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

Forget composure. I let go. I came undone. I cried. And most importantly, I realised that it was ok. Like Abraham wrestled with God and was blessed, I wrestled with Him and realised that I had already been blessed. I just needed to open my eyes to it.

My prayer for today:

Psalm 86

A prayer of David.

Hear, O LORD, and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.

Guard my life, for I am devoted to you.
You are my God; save your servant
who trusts in you.

Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.

Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.

You are forgiving and good, O Lord,
abounding in love to all who call to you.

Hear my prayer, O LORD;
listen to my cry for mercy.

In the day of my trouble I will call to you,
for you will answer me.

Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord;
no deeds can compare with yours.

All the nations you have made
will come and worship before you, O Lord;
they will bring glory to your name.

For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
you alone are God.

Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.

For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

The arrogant are attacking me, O God;
a band of ruthless men seeks my life—
men without regard for you.

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

Turn to me and have mercy on me;
grant your strength to your servant
and save the son of your maidservant.

Give me a sign of your goodness,
that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me.

AGAIN, AGAIN!!!!!!

2006-05-31T23:49:00.000+01:00

I had so much fun on our previous chain poem that I feel it merits a second round... What do you think?
So here we go:

I stood and stared
as you smiled with outstretched hand
and the thorn pierced
as I looked in the eyes of my enigma.

Could a man smile in the midst of pain?
Maybe it hurts less that I thought.
The spear drives in, (Mr. T)
still my mask remains.

A puppet in the hands of the master Puppeteer.
You pull the strings
and tie my heart in knots as I am tangled,
woven in the threads of your lies.

I've believed you before,
but dare I do it again?
Still
your charm overwhelms me and the lock on my heart begins to crumble. (Mr.T)

Despite my best efforts the door swings open and reveals
the intricate ticking of my soul-
the vulnerable inner working
that you use to bend and manipulate me to your will.

Though I smile on the outside
everything within me screams.
The familiar feeling of emotions leaving,
I am given to you.
All I do now is wait (Mr.T)
for the end. Or is it the beginning?

I am empty. Void of meaning and life.
You took all I was and tipped it out
as coffee dregs down the drain.
Now that I have gone I find
that something stirrs.
Something familiar yet dormant for the longest time.
I feel it as the awakening begins.

Eight (Sun)days and counting...

2006-05-31T13:26:00.000+01:00

Here's a scary thought for you... I only have eight Sundays left before I go. That means eight days of church. Yikes! Two months seems like a long time, but I just realised how short that really is. *Sigh* but I need to get used to the idea very quickly, otherwise it's gonna wipe me out when the day comes to say goodbye.

I'll be resigning my job at the end of June. That's something to look forward to- especially my boss's response. But that is the most exciting part about leaving, is the fact that I can find another job, hopefully in a slightly more normal environment.

My shipping boxes are arriving on Thursday, and then I will start sorting out what is going to SA and what is going to Oz. Also what is staying behind. Hmmm... that's gonna be a tough one. I'm gonna have to be really strict with myself, maybe I'll get Debs to help me- she will be firm and not allow me to keep anything that I don't really need... (no matter how badly I want it).

Anyway, this is just a bit of rambling on my part. I've been getting a bit emotional lately, just when I hang out with people I care about so much and realise that I'm gonna say goodbye soon.
Ok, ramling over. I'll be back again soon, hopefully with some interesting information.

Son of God

2006-05-26T12:14:00.000+01:00

Son of God,
Son of Man.
Your cause was just, your motives true.
Sent by the Father
with abounding mercy
and love unconditional.

Son of God,
Son of Man
who lived by faith
yet died by human hand-
killed by ones you came to save.

Son of God,
Son of Man
betrayed with a kiss of greed
to those who knew not what they did
when they condemned you.

Son of God,
Son of Man.
Man of many sorrows,
mocked and spat on, beaten and killed… for what?
To buy my healing and my life.

Son of God,
Son of Man
whose blood was shed to cleanse my soul.
Who overcame the grave
and rose again to life eternal.

Son of God,
Son of Man
on whose shoulders rest the government
and who is
yesterday, today and forever

Son of God, Son of Man,
Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace
King of kings, Glorious Redeemer
and forever more
My own, my all
my Lord and Saviour.

Phoenix
25 May 2006

Busy... busy... as usual.

2006-05-24T13:45:00.000+01:00

Well it's been another busy week in the city. Last night we had a biblical economics seminar with Jeff Lestz. It continues tonight and I am REALLY glad I was there! I'm learning so much about finance from a biblical perspective and I'm LOVING it!

My time is running very short now, and I'm starting to feel the nerves as I realise how much I still have to do before I go. I still have to arrange a going away do... but that will hopefully not be too much of an issue.

Anyhoo- here are a few of the pics from Kimbo's b-day thing on Friday.
Enjoy. :)

Lying, Stinking CHEAT!!!!

2006-05-17T12:28:00.000+01:00

Ok... I confess. I have been unfaithful to my loyal Blogger.com. I am having an affair with a website called DeviantArt.com which, as the name suggests, is about art. For me , it's about photography. It's a forum where you can post your work and other people can comment on it and help you improve your stuff. It's great!

Check me out at

PhoenixWingz

Also, we are mourning the loss of a great and trusted friend today. Mr. Torongo's laptop died last week and we are all missing his blogging because of it. I would like to observe a moment of silence on his behalf:

* MOMENT OF SILENCE *

Ok. Thank you, I feel better now.

On a lighter note- the weather is warming up some... YAY! It's starting to feel like summer with long days and no more winter coats. Note I don't say LACK of coats, just not WINTER coats. It's a big step!

It was Kim's birthday yesterday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! - and we are going bowling and ice skating on Friday night. Can't wait! I can't remember the last time I went Ice Skating, it has been YEARS! Hopefully it will be Skating, not falling. But even if it is falling, it will be funny anyhow.

Well, that's me at the moment... I will be continuing my adulterous affair with DevArt, so please do keep your eyes open for any new photo's and things going up there. You can find the link there on my sidebar, under 'This Is Me'. Just for those of you who will forever forget this post and then not know where to go again. I love you all anyway. :)

Blog Challenge: Chain Poem

2006-05-08T23:30:00.000+01:00

Ok, this is our new Blog challenge- we are creating a chain poem.
See the original post by Mr. Torongo

This is the poem as it's going so far:

(And the Challenge Continues.............)

Betrayed,
dark clouds scream across the sky,
blotting out the sun in my soul. (Mr. Torongo)

Et tu, Brute?
I cannot believe one so dear
could turn
and drive the fatal spear home.
If love had wages
surely pain could not be it? (Phoenix)

Still, paid in full am I.
Unsure who to curse...
You...
for you wrenched my heart out and wrung it like a wet cloth
or Love
for she sent me the wrong way on a one way street. (Mr. Torongo)

Though I see collision
I cannot turn.
My heart will not take heed.
Like old black and white stills
scenes flash in warning
as I race toward my prize. (Phoenix)

Emotions in full motion
the vehicle gains momentum.
The saving hour is passed
my destiny is sealed.
If only this cup could pass me by...
Nevertheless- this was my will (Mr. Torongo)
and my will be done.
Or so it always has.

Is there no end to this... myself?
The thing I love and loathe
and know and don't.
I saw you as saviour when I couldn't be
and hoped you could atone for my sin.
I placed you on the pedestal you fell from
and so I fell with you. (Phoenix)

Entangled in your deception
Trapped in my imperfection.
A once promising sky fills with grey
...Hope sinks eternal. (Mr. Torongo)

As the first drops pelt the earth
I pause and look
toward the heaven
where once I saw despair.
I now find hope.
Can it be that at the end of my grace
I find a new Grace?
A Mercy that is new every day? (Phoenix)

I have heard about this before
yet somehow I never believed
how when all else fails
and darkness consumes all I see
there is still a light that echoes through eternity.
It vibrates in my soul, brings tears to my eyes.

I have heard about it before
yet somehow I never conceived
that Light was betrayed and darkness reigned
for this cause:
Only so the Light could reign and darkness never again.
My eyes have opened-
I see beauty that makes this heart adore -
I see hope of a life spent in Light. (Mr. Torongo)

Once betrayed,
Dark clouds scream across the sky
that Light is risen.
The Debt is paid.
And the new Son rises in my soul. (Phoenix)

On Mr. Torongo's suggestion I am including the photo inspired by the lines:
Unsure who to curse...
You...
for you wrenched my heart out and wrung it like a wet cloth
or Love
for she sent me the wrong way on a one way street.

Me, Myself, I

2006-05-08T13:58:00.000+01:00

It's been another great week-end in the house. I didn't hear Phil Baker yesterday, I hear he was great, but I did hear Gary. And was the man on FIRE yesterday! I haven't heard him preaching that powerfully in ages. He spoke about dealing with 'Self', and the things we can do to facilitate the change from the old nature to the new nature.
The things were:
1) Desire Change
2) Prayer
3) The Word of God
4) The House of God
5) The Holy Spirit.

Ok, so you need to WANT to change, otherwise you wont. That makes sense. Now we get to Prayer, the Word and the House. This, he said, should highlight the best AND the worst in you. He said that in these places you should realise what the worst in you is, so that you can start dealing with it, and subsequently bring out the best. How cool is that?
He also said that God gave us the church so we could be in a place where it was safe to have the worst come out. A place where there would be no judgement, and the people around you would HELP you move forward, not hinder you. Boy, did religion ever get THAT wrong!!!
And then comes the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is the counsellor (you'll need one when you realise how much is actually wrong in your life... ;) ) and as such helps empower us to make the changes that need to be made.

It was a really good message actually, one that got me thinking about many things, and that is always good. ;)

Then afterward we had a coffee team farewell for Mani who is moving to Berlin this week. It was a bittersweet moment as saying good bye always sucks, but we were all really excited about the great plans God has for his life!

Week-End

2006-05-06T08:59:00.000+01:00

Well, it's Saturday morning and I'm off to work in a few minutes. So far the week-end has started of really great- we had Hillsong life at a bar in Soho called Bertorelli. Really nice place- it was used in the film 'Sliding Doors'.

Today looks like a beautiful day, which, hopefully will continue so we can start enjoying the summer! I am somewhat sleep deprived at the momnet, as this week I couldn't seem to get to bed before about 1am, so hopefully after work I will be able to get some down time and maybe, just maybe, catch up on some sleep.

Looking forward to a great day tomorrow at church with Phil Baker speaking and bringing a few 'movie messages' our way. Last year we had Finding Nemo and Moulin Rouge. I'm wondering what we have this year...??? Anyway, that was just a quick update, I'll be back soon, so WATCH THIS SPACE!!!!

Above All Else

2006-05-03T11:26:00.000+01:00

I was just thinking about the song by David Gray- Babylon. Lately it seems I am finding God in every aspect of life, more so than ever before.
Take a look at this:

'Friday night
I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Well looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To ever open up my heart
To all that jealousy,
that bitterness,
that ridicule.'

Now, doesn't that remind you of Proverbs? 'Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.'
Hmmm... Nice one Dave!
Pretty impressive, I'd say.

Colour Pics

2006-05-01T21:54:00.002+01:00

Wow, what an amazing week-end! It's been life changing and inspiring. It was also such a great time hanging out with friends and just being with each other. The theme of the conference was basically 'Rise up, Rise up, Rise up.' About standing strong and reaching the potential God has placed in us. We saw so many lives changed! Here are just a few pitures to give you a taste. I can't really go into more detail, else I'd be writing a book to say everything that happened.

She Is... The point of Colour is placing value upon Womanhood. In a completely Non-feminist way. It's all about considering that in many parts of the world women are abused and suppressed and treated like they mean absolutely nothing. Colour is about changing that mindset. She is Risen, Empowered and Beautiful to the Core.

Colour places value on friendship and partnership. We understand that we were not designed to do life alone, and we are more likely to reach our potential when we come alongside other like-minded people.

One of the focus points was called 'Kindness in Action' which gave us opportunity to contribute to one of many organizations we partner with to try and make a difference in the world. Compassion allows us to sponsor children in various parts of the world, especially in Uganda and Rwanda. These pink and blue cards represent children who were sponsored during the conference. By the end of Saturday the wall was full up. We sponsored about 200 children over the 2 days!

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Colour Your World 2006

2006-04-27T17:33:00.000+01:00

(the music blares)

It's the final countdown...
The final countdown
Ooh oh

(guitars go mad...)

And it's time... Colour Your World 2006 kicks off tomorrow! (at 5am for some of us... ouch)
But I cannot wait to see lives transformed, mindsets changed, and strongholds broken!

So... sugar and spice and all things nice... that's what little girls are made of, but
Colour Your World... That's what Kingdom Princesses are made from!

Bring it on Ladies!

All Of You

2006-04-25T14:09:00.000+01:00

So here we are, God. Just you and me.
All of you and all of me.
I wonder, did you plan this?
Did you know I would end up here?
I feel a bit like Job, asking why
yet never receiving an answer.
I have screamed until my voice is hoarse
and my throat parched
but still I run in circles-
running into myself at every turn.
Again I wonder: How did I get here?
Now I look for the first time beyond myself
and see a world I never knew-
a world I longed for in that secret place.
I see it through a murky window, dim and removed
yet somehow I know
that you will take me there, if I will let you.
Looking in your eyes I see myself
not as I am
but as I can be-
as You see me
and I know that your life is the life I want.
Will you take me there, Lord?
Will you open the door that I cannot?
Here we stand, just you and me.
All of you and all of me
and I know that you are enough.
That you are all.
That you are.
So I leave behind myself and all I was
as I step through the door and close it.
I am in your hands, I am at your mercy
and your mercies are new every day.

So here we are, God. Just you and me.
All of you and none of me.

Phoenix

Blue Like Jazz

2006-04-25T13:56:00.000+01:00

This is the book I'm absolutely LOVING at the moment. This is from the book, about loneliness.

Loneliness is something that happens to us, but I think it is something we can move ourselves out of. I think a person who is lonely should dig into a community, give himself to a community, humble himself before his friends, initiate community, teach people to care for each other, love each other. Jesus does not want us floating through space or sitting in front of our televisions. Jesus wants us interacting, eating together, laughing together, praying together. Loneliness is something that came with the fall.
If loving other people is a bit of heaven then certainly isolation is a bit of hell, and to that degree, here on earth, we decide in which state we would like to live.

(from Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller)

Time... Never enough of it.

2006-04-25T13:27:00.000+01:00

Well, it has been a busy few days. REALLY busy, but REALLY good as well. Sunday at church was once again an awe inspiring experience. Frank Damazzio spoke in the 1st 2 services, and Chris Caine in the evening. Let me tell you something: Lives were changed on Sunday! And I'm not just talking about people who found Jesus, though there were STAX of them too, I'm talking about everyone who was there to be a part of it. It was a defining week-end in our individual and corporate lives.

(now I'm really excited to see what will happen at Colour this week-end!)
(5 Days... and counting)

So after church on Sunday we went to Buckingham Palace to baptize Kim and a few other people in the fountains. It was the middle of the night but we didn't care, we were buzzing with God's presence. So we baptized 3 people, not in the big fountain as there was no water in the big fountain (go figure) but at a small fountain around the corner right next to the river. It was perfect. There was one streetlamp right above us giving us a beautiful glow and there was a sea of daffodils to one side to complete it. What more could you ask for?

Then last night we had a 'hair party' at our place, for a few of the ladies to get their hair cut before Colour. Great night. Not enough sleep. But really good company.

So that's the last few days summarised. I can see that my last 3 months are going to be ACTION PACKED and GO GO GO!
Not that I would have had it any other way.

Our Commission

2006-04-22T20:39:00.000+01:00

We had a leadership conference in Leatherhead today with Chris Caine and Frank Damazzio. It was three sessions of pure gold. My mind is still reeling from all the amazing things that were said. I honestly love that we can be a part of a church that is so bent on seeing people grow and flourish in life and their walk with God. I also love how leadership in church completely turns the normal perspective of leadership on its head.

Look at the normal 'leadership pyramid'. You have a pyramid, divided into layers, and as you climb higher on the pyramid you have a higher position of leadeship and the very top, the peak of the pyramid would be the highest position attainable. Basically traditional leadership would have you believe that the higher you climb the more people you have to serve you. In church, however, you literally turn the pyramid upside down so that the higher you climb on the pyramid, the more you actually serve people. You are a leader not to be served but to serve.

Frank spoke about the church in Acts 2, how they were the first church, the benchmark if you will. The church of today has a responsibility to become the church again. For a very long time now church has completely lost its relevancy. It became all about rituals and religious traditions and forgot that we are Christ's bride set on earth to reach a lost and broken world. It is our responsibility to build God's house the way he intended it to be. Wow. That's big. Huge, in fact, but exciting at the same time. After us, it's the rapture. The end. Are we sharing Jesus with our world? Are we actually IN the world that we are trying to reach? Are we giving people the opportunity to experience life and freedom that comes from knowing Jesus as their saviour? If we aren't we are NOT really being the church because you cannot seperate Jesus from his church.

Well, there you have it. Our responsibility: The Great Commission: Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

It doesn't get any clearer than that, now does it?

I love to laugh!

2006-04-20T21:06:00.001+01:00

Don't you just LOVE to laugh? I have just been laughing so hard that I was actually crying, and I tell you what, it's the most therapeutic thing in the world. I honestly think that we should laugh more, we would never need to worry about de-stressing again!

So come on, bring on the laughter!

And one of the best songs from Mary Poppins:
"We love to laugh (HA HA HA HA HA) loud and long and clear
We love to laugh (HA HA HA HA) so everybody can hear
The more we laugh, the more we fill with glee
And the more the glee, the more we're a merrier we."

I did it!

2006-04-19T13:36:00.000+01:00

Well, yesterday I finally did it... I booked my flight to SA. One way. Yikes, talk about reality check! I knew that the time was coming, but it was like it really hit home that I'm leaving in three months. As excited as I am to be moving into the next season of my life, it is going to be the hardest thing to say goodbye to everything I have here. To everyONE I have here.

This week-end was a real highlight of that fact as well, and I got really emotional when I thought about how much my friends mean to me. This will be a season I will never forget.

Easter Bank Holiday Week-End

2006-04-17T19:43:00.000+01:00

Well, Easter week-end is drawing to a close, and what a week-end! It has been four days of absolute bliss. Lots of junk food, lots of socializing and lots and lots of fun!

We kicked off with a movie and pizza night on Thursday, which turned into a pizza and conversation night as we only watched one film... Singin' in the Rain (great choice of film though!)... and then ended up chatting and listening to music until 3am.

On Friday I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that required any physical energy. Loaded music onto my iPod and basically vegged out until about 7pm when I finally left the house to head over to Thamesmead to Frans and Susan's with Janet. I watched The Count of Monte Cristo for the first time. Great movie! I actually wasn't expecting it to be as good as that. Saturday we chilled most of the morning, went into Thamesmead to do some shopping for Janet's SA trip. We went for coffee at a little cafe called The Friends. They do real caff coffee. They type you can drink ten cups of without even realising it. It's just smooth and easy to drink. Saturday night we watched Ice Age 2 and if possible, it was even funnier than the first one.

Sunday was church. J John did the Easter special services and I laughed so hard I almost cried. It was a great day in the house, and SO many people made decisions to put Jesus first! It was VERY exciting! After church Kim and I headed over to her place and crashed there for the night. This morning we were going to head over to Hampton Court Palace to have a picnic in the gardens, but we ended up staying in Richmond in park and walking along the river. It was a really beautiful day, though a bit chilly when the sun disappeared behind the clouds. We had ice cream and more junk food and eventually headed back to her place. Watched the end of Shrek 2 for the hundredth time and then came home for the first time in 3 days. It's been a great week-end, but it's nice to be home. We're watching Ocean's Twelve now and then I'm goint to have an early night as tomorrow we have to drag ourselves out of bed early to go jogging again. Viva las Runners!

Just an update.

2006-04-11T14:04:00.000+01:00

So Deb and I started jogging this morning. Yes, you heard me, JOGGING. And in the MORNING! We were out of the house at 6:30 this morning. It felt so good to walk back into the house after we had had a good run around the park. Now the test will be when we have to wake up again tomorrow morning and do the same thing again. Hmmm... I'm rooting for us to actually keep it up.

The days here are getting longer and longer, which is fabulous! But Summer is just not happening! It starts warming up just a little, and then the temperature dips back down again. On Sunday night on the way home from Wembley it was only 2 degrees outside. 2 DEGREES! I mean, really. It's the 11th of April, where is the HOT WEATHER?????? My skin is so pale at this point in time I have started going translucent. If I don't catch some rays soon I will disappear altogether. Not cool.

But one the lighter side, the longer days gives more photo opportunities around the city- YAY!

Check these out...

London On The Go

Putney Bridge

Dancing lights

Colour Your World

2006-04-10T15:40:00.000+01:00

It's almost time to colour your world! Our annual Women's Conference is coming up in JUST 19 DAYS! YIPPEEEEE!!!! Colour is a conference about empowering women to break out and step into all tha God has for them. It also totally 'princessifies' every person who has the opportunity to be there. Now please, don't get me wrong, I do not mean we all become squirmy, giggling GIRLS! (heaven forbid I should ever be a giggling girl...) No, there are those who are the more girly girls who love being princesses, but then there are the rest of us. What colour does is makes you see what your role is as Princess... WARRIOR Princess. (Now THAT's more like it!) It is liberating to be in a conference centre with 2500 women from different backgrounds and races, all different ages and all there for one reason: God. There are mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers and friends all there to worship our creator. There is just something about women worshipping together. It is as though all of us are being woeed and strenghtened at the same time. You become so vulnerable yet you become more determined than ever to do what you are called to do: To stand. To fight the good fight. To defend the heart and breath of whatever we come alongside. But most of all, to LOVE. After all, that's what we are here for, isn't it?

Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

1 Timothy 6:11-12 Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for what we believe.

Matthew 22:36-39 "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

Check out the website:
Colour Conference 2006

Frenzy Festival 2006

2006-04-04T21:20:00.000+01:00

I am absolutely DYING to go to this!
I mean- with bands like David Crowder, Delirious?, Tree63, Tim Hughes etc, who wouldn't?

Frenzy festival 2006

So long... AGAIN!

2006-03-30T13:08:00.000+01:00

(background: Queen's "Another one bites the dust"...)

So yesterday Katie flew back to Oz. I met her and Vicky at the airport to say goodbye. Luckily there were no problems checking in, all her luggage went through without a hitch. We had a drink at Starbucks (honestly, I should have SHARES in that place) as we waited for her boarding time. We were very early, but that turned out to be the best thing ever, as we ended standing in the longest queue of people you could imagine! It seriously went bending and curving around forever! We stood there for about and hour before we got to the front. YIKES!

But anyway, there is the end of another chapter in my London life. (Yes, I know it's the beginning of another one as well.) Like Mitch Albom said in his book "The Five People You Meet in Heaven": "Every ending is a new beginning. We just don't know it at the time." (by the way- his book "Tuesdays With Morrie" is a great read- you can learn very much about people from this guy!)

So I guess this is goodbye Katie. For now anyway. See you in Brissie soon!

The Power of Prayer

2006-03-29T13:59:00.000+01:00

I've just started reading 'The Power of a Praying Woman' (literally the first few pages) and I am very excited about it! When I was flicking through the pages it actually goes through fascinating things like names to call God when you pray, such as Redeemer, Saviour, Lord etc. I love that we can learn how to develop our walk with God on a daily basis.

Another book I am reading and THOROUGHLY enjoying is 'The 360 Degree Leader'. If you want practical leadership advice and tips, look into this one, it's extremely challenging!

Question Number One

2006-03-29T13:39:00.000+01:00

Ok... so here we go, delving deeper into each other's world's and minds... SCARY!

So, if you could choose ONE superpower, what would it be?

Singin' in the Rain...London style.

2006-03-27T16:40:00.000+01:00

Yesterday between services Kim and I went for a stroll around the little backstreets of London. This is one of my favourite passtimes as you never quite know what you will discover on your wanderings. Sometimes it almost feels as if you have left the real world behind and you are lost in a fairy tale, or a medieval adventure.

We came across a little deserted walkway and had a bit of fun...

I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain

Just a pity there were two Debbie Reynolds' and no Gene Kelly to join in the refrain. I always knew I was made for Broadway, there was just one thing that ever stood in my way- my voice.

*Sigh*

The Devil is a Loser

2006-03-21T14:17:00.000Z

On Sunday we had Jerry Savelle at church in the 11am service. He was HILARIOUS! That man could be a one man comedy show. The message was all about 'Failure is not in your Future, so Failure is no longer acceptable'. Uhm... ouch.

Basically he said that if you cannot handle all that life and the devil throw at you, you need to question if you are living under the blood of Jesus.

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will indeed be free.

Jesus paid a price so that you may be free, but the choice to walk in that freedom or remain in bondage is yours. If you do not believe that you are free you will not walk in victory.

John 16:33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. (emphasis added)

So Jesus stated that we will have trials and sorrows. In fact, in the Amplified bible it says:
I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration...
I don't know about you, but I don't very much like the sound of that. Luckily Jesus doesn't stop there, he continues to say:
but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

He has deprived it of its power to harm us. So even when the tough times come, we know that it's not over yet. We are more than conquerors in Christ, but how can you be more than a conqueror if you have nothing to conquer?

Anyway, so getting back to the thing that we need to conquer. The bible tells us in Ephesians 6 that 'our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.' Basically we are fighting the devil and all his minions. The devil is known as the prince of this world, so while we are in the world we will have to face him.

So one of the ways that the devil will try to keep you down is by bringing up your past (this is again referringto Sunday's message). He will try and tell you that you are a failure. That you are not good enough and that you cannot overcome the things in your life, because maybe you didn't have the greatest past. Here's Jerry's tip on how to get over that: When the devil brings up your past, turn around and bring up HIS. When he tells you what a failure you are, remind of what a failure he is. Here we have someone who was once the angel of worship, one who was always in the presence of God and who now is so jealous of you for being in that presence that he will do anything to get you out of it. You can sit him down and tell him all about what a loser he is. What a failure he is. Where he came from and what he's done. And then, to top it all off, remind him that his future isn't looking too bright either- heading for a great lake of fire is not exactly something I'd be looking forward to.

All in all I'd say that we have reason to celebrate and worship and take joy in the Lord, for we know that no weapon formed against us shall prosper, we know that our eternal salvation has been secured and that we are FREE INDEED.

So devil, that's it for you- you're a failure, a disgrace and a loser, and you can SUCK EGGS!

2006-03-16T13:33:00.000Z

aim at heaven
and you will get
earth thrown in
aim at earth
and you will get
neither

C.S.Lewis

What is Love?

2006-03-16T13:14:00.000Z

Inspired by a recent chain e-mail (yes, I hate them too... but this one was actually really cool) about the meaning of love as defined by a group of 8 year-olds, we sort of started defining love in our own words. I started thinking of one of my favourite movie quotes about love, from 'Music From Another Room' with Jude Law:

Q:What is love like?
A:'You know how when you're listening to music playing from another room? And you're singing along because it's a tune that you really love? When a door closes or a train passes so you can't hear the music anymore, but you sing along anyway... then, no matter how much time passes, when you hear the music again you're still in exact same time with it. That's what it's like.'

In the words of Clovergirl:
"Love is: giving more presents than you get, listening to someone even when you're not interested, asking more questions about them than they ask you, giving massages even when your hands hurt, lending a book even when you think they'll fold the pages over and bend the spine, being totally honest even when it hurts, adoring someone even when they say silly things, not correcting them when they use bad grammar, and giving hugs even when they have BO."

And my own:
"Love is someone who drops everything because you need a friend, someone who doesn't consult a calendar to make time for you. Love is going out for a meal and sharing food off each other's plates. It is doing something you REALLY don't want to because you know it will mean something to someone and SMILING while you do it. Love is wiping someone else's tears away when your own cheeks are still wet with your own. Love is seeing what someone CAN be and believing that they will become that, no matter how far they are from it. But mostly, love is knowing that no matter what the distance or time that passes between you, when you see each other again you will pick up right where you left off."

So come on... anyone have some other ideas?

And some other random pics...

2006-03-15T13:41:00.000Z

Africa Pics

2006-03-15T13:14:00.000Z

These are some of my photos from my last trip to South Africa

Coffee Team ROCKS!!!

2006-03-14T13:38:00.000Z

What more do you need to know??? These guys are just the BEST!

Africa, my heritage.

2006-03-10T13:46:00.000Z

Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika (Lord Bless Africa)

Maluphakanyisw’ uphondo lwayo (May her glory be lifted high)
Yiva imathandazo yethu (Hear our petitions)
Nkosi Sikelela (Lord bless us)
Thina lusapho lwayo (Us your children)

These are the opening lyrics to South Africa's national anthem. Lord, bless Africa.

Over the last month or so I find my thoughts often drawn to Africa and her beauty. Everywhere I go I am reminded of her heart and her life, even though I am so far removed from her. I can see in my mind's eye the heat rising off the tar on the horizon, I see grasslands that dance to the rythm of the wind and swirling red dust. I see paperbark and acacia trees that spread their umbrealla's wide and throw off their long white thorns like spears. I also see cold blue oceans and towering mountains, sprawling white beaches and brightly painted mud huts.

I never used to understand that Africa was in my blood. Hot, red and dusty she flows through my veins and lives in my heart. For the first time in my life I actually appreciate that. I am proud to call Africa home and now I truly understand that Africa will always be my heritage. Her heart will always be the call that brings that familiar rise to my soul, that roar of the lioness which pierces the darkness of night and says: I belong here. No matter how long I am away I now know that I will never forget... Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika. Lord, bless Africa!

What a Week-End!!!!

2006-03-06T14:21:00.000Z

I tell you what, none of the pictures I saw of Wales on the net gave credit to the beautiful scenery we experienced this week-end! We left Friday at around 7pm and got to the cottage around 10:45. It was snowed up everywhere, and we had a snow fight right on our porch.

The cottage was so quaint and perfect, we couldn't have asked for anything better. Everything was FLORAL though, which was a bit over the top, but who cares, right? Saturday morning we awoke to a white wonderland, and after a great breakfast of croissants and fruit salad we headed out into the field to have some fun in the snow. We sledged on some melamine trays, and it was such a laugh to see us skidding about in the powder, but we had the best time!

Katie and I then proceded to make a snow man which, by the way, is a lot of hard work! After half an hour we had just about got as far as we were going to get rolling snowballs around trying to get a bigger snowman. So we put Frosty together and stood back to appreciate him. Then I made a snow angel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay!

We then realised that Frosty was in a field, and not actually by the cottage, so we did what anyone in our position would have done- we moved him. We carried him in two halves down tha road and put him by the shed in front of the house. We got some interesting looks from passers by in their cars though!

After warming up a bit and changing into dry trousers we headed off to the village of the Three Cocks for Horse riding. (Who names a place Three Cocks, anyway????) There was a lot of ice on the ridges, so we had to stick to the lower parts for the ride, but it was still really beautiful, and the weather really played along very well.

We came back from riding (a bit stiff and bruised) and then went up to Hay, which is a little village very well known for it's second-hand bookshops. Did you know that in Wales on a Saturday afternoon around 4pm everything is closed? Well, neither did we, until we got there. It took us about half an hour to find somewhere we could eat. Not good when the last meal you had was breakfast. But we found a little take-out place and I had fish and chips- LOTS of chips. Hmmmmmm. Yum. On the way back to the car we stumbled across a little fudge shop which made Katie's day- I've never seen anyone so excited aver sweets! So we bought fudge and headed home for the night.

Sunday morning we had breakfast and then made our way back to London.
All in all I would say it was a VERY successfull week-end, and we all had a wonderful time hanging out together.

Hi Ho Silver, Away!

2006-03-03T14:05:00.000Z

Well, finally it's Friday and almost time for us to go to Wales. I'm more and more looking forward to this mini-break as pressure at work seems to be mounting by the hour. I have moments when I just want to run screaming into the streets in the hope that the men in white coats will catch up with me and lock me away somewhere I can have some peace and quiet.

Since the chances of that happening are very slim (well, more realistically, chances of that happening are impossible) I will take delight in the small pleasures where I can and this week-end is a perfect example of that. I am even looking forward to the drive to get there. Three and a half hours in the car listening to some hot tunes and just enjoying the company. Beautiful.

In my opinion, the most exciting part of the whole thing is the fact that we will be going horseriding tomorrow afternoon! We're going on a two hour outride in the countryside, though Anneke and Zoe are not joining us (Anneke being HIGHLY allergic to horses), they will be enjoying the little village and see what it has to offer the five of us.

I guess now the secret is to get through the countdown without losing my head... only four hours to go, let's hope I can make it!

Wales

2006-02-28T14:29:00.000Z

Well, here we go for lastminute.com! The Greystoke Palace girls have been spontaneous and we are heading to Wales for the week-end. We found a beautiful little cottage in the Welsh countryside with absolutely stunning views by the looks of things!

Since Anneke has a pool car for work we're driving up, which is even better! So after work on Friday we're jumping in the car and heading off on the A40 for a nice quiet week-end. It's more of a farewell anyway as Katie is leaving to ga back to Oz at the end of March, and this will be the last week-end we will all be together.

I am personally very excited about the SNOW that is supposed to be all over the show at the moment...maybe my white Christmas will be a white March. Nice for an early birthday present, I think!

Check out the scenery!

(I'll have to post my own photos so we can compare them...)

Teddy Bear's Picnic

2006-02-27T17:55:00.000Z

If you go out in the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise.
If you go out in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise.

For every bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

My Church, My Family

2006-02-22T11:19:00.000Z

Over the past few months I have made mention quite often of things that we get up to at church and things that our Pastor has said, but I have not actually said much about church itself. I belong to the Hillsong Church London family, and I LOVE my church!

There are many reasons why I love my church, probably too many to mention, but I will tell you a little bit about it, and hopefully you will get some understanding.

I started going to Hillsong in March 2004. We were still meeting in the Mermaid Conference and Events Centre then, a theatre that seated about 600 people. The first time I walked through the doors I thought we had gone to the wrong place- the energy and excitement I felt the moment the doors were opened for us were not what I had been expecting. Not at church anyway. People were genuinely happy to see us, and they welcomed us into their house very graciously. Now, after spending a year in London it was something of a shock to walk into a room where people were actually FRIENDLY. They made eye contact and said hello. I almost didn't know how to respond as I had learned very quickly that if you make eye contact in London, or if you smile at people they think you are some kind of psychopath who wants to decapitate them or something. This is especially true on the underground!

Anyway, so there I was in a brighly lit foyer with great music and an amazing atmosphere, but best of all there was a big sign on the wall that said 'Welcome Home'. I nearly cried. I felt like I fit in, like I belonged, and I had only been there for 5 minutes. This was all before the service had even started.

After the first time, I could not keep myself away. I wanted to be there more than anything in the world and I found myself counting the days until Sunday. I was meeting amazing people every week and I was learning more about myself than I was necessarily comfortable with, but I could not bear to not be there. I felt at peace when I was at church and for the first time I knew what it meant to be in relationship with God. I was building realtionships with people who really believed in me and who wanted to see my life grow and flourish. People who did not feel threatened when I was doing well but were excited for me and with me. I started to see what it meant to be part of the family of Christ because these people were, in every aspect of the word, becoming my family. I was also learning that Christianity was about more than going to church on a Sunday, it was about every part of your life from Monday to Sunday and I learned that it was a walk that I could not walk alone. I started to get involved in our midweek activities where I got to build my relationships with people around me and got to learn more about God and his Word. The thing I found most amazing was how the changes that were happening in my life were actually affecting other people in my world as well. The joy that was in me was rubbing off on my friends and work colleages - finally I was seeing what it meant to be salt and light.

The Worship Team

It is now 2 years on and I can tell you that the last 2 years have been the best of my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's all been easy- in fact they have probably been the most challenging as well, but I have grown in the challenges and been stretched in the difficult times.

Just as my life has grown, so has the church and we now meet in the Dominion Theatre in central London - a great theatre that seats about 2200 people. I cannot imagine what life would have been like had I not gotten into such a fantastic church where I hear great teaching every week and where I have the opportunity to contribute to the house of God with my time and my resources. I love that there is such a sense of ownership in our house. Every person plays a role in making the week and week-end work, whatever that looks like. You may contribute with your time, with your finance, by bringing people along or quite simply just by your enthusiasm.

The Dominion Theatre

Another thing is that by being able to serve the vision in our church has enabled me to begin to realise my own dreams. Realising that God has a plan and a purpose for my life has allowed me to dream things that I would never have allowed myself to do before. Knowing that he wants to give me the desires of my heart and that he plans things for me that no mind has ever imagined has given me a boldness in my approach to life. In fact, I almost feel that it's an insult to God to NOT dream big dreams, because he desires great things for us, not a life of mediocrity.

Hillsong United

Though probably the biggest lesson I have learned yet is that my life goes beyond myself. I am not here to appease myself (or people, for that matter). I was created by God and for God. My purpose is to be in relationship with him and to help other people get in relationship with him. I would never have learnt that by myself, without other people. So basically I have come to grips with the two most important commandments- Love God and Love people.

I guess in a lot of ways our mission statement has become my mission statement, and our vision has become my vision. Though my guess is that that is exactly how it is supposed to be.

Hills Mission Statement:

To reach and influence the world by building a large Bible-based church, changing mindsets and empowering people to lead and impact in every sphere of life.

Esse Quam Videri

2006-02-21T10:56:00.000Z

I came across this postcard yesterday:

At first I just noticed it because I like the photograph, and the inscription was beautiful. Then I noticed the bottom... Esse Quam Videri. Latin. I didn't know what it meant, so I looked it up on Google, and the meaning literally rocked me: To Be rather than to Seem. Wow. Wouldn't that be great in every aspect of life? In how many situations do we try to seem to be that which we are not?

What are you? I mean REALLY? Not what do you seem to be. Not what do you project yourself into, but really honestly what are you?

And God spake unto Moses, and said unto him, I am the Lord:
And I appeared unto Abraham, unto Isaac, and unto Jacob, by the name of God Almighty, but by my name Jehovah was I not known to them.

-- Exodus 6: 2-3 (KJV)

God is the Great I AM. He simply is. Jehovah: I am that I am.

Don't you long for a sense of being as strong as that? Don't you wish that your identity was unquestionable because you simply are? I am at a place now where I am wanting to strip away anything that isn't as it seems because I long for the freedom of being what I am, or at least becoming what I am.

God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children.

--Romans 8:16 (MSG)

That is who I am. And you know what? Nothing else matters.

To Be Rather Than To Seem

All is not as it seems.
Perfection doesn't arrive wrapped up in a package
waiting eagerly to be opened
and worn over the drabness of life.
I cannot see what I am
therefore I am what I see.
My smile laughs back at me, knowing the truth
about the lie I make myself believe
to sleep at night.
Can the veil be removed so I can see clearly
or will my vision always be blurred?

I have a dream:
Esse Quam Videri.

Phoenix
21 Feb. 06

Hey Saatchi!

2006-02-20T09:44:00.000Z

Baby Saatchen

Hmmm... Nando's are putting some interesting things on the menu these days... Saathchi Burger and chips. Hehehe.

We

2006-02-17T14:20:00.000Z

You reached for me and brushed my heart and
where you touched you stuck.
Your fingerprints engraved upon the surface of my soul
grew to be a part of me –
in time
your touch was mine.
Your presence
no longer questioned but embraced as though my own.

Phoenix

Tell Me

2006-02-17T13:58:00.000Z

Speak to me
of dreams and fears and hopes and doubts.
Show me the you that you’re afraid of.
This tide runs deep enough to cover your iniquities
for love believes the best of everyone.
What wakes you in the middle of the night
frantic in a cold sweat
or stills the rushing of your blood?
What thoughts creep, uninvited, through the depths
of your restless mind?
Perfection makes not a man of you
nor imperfection a beast.
Where grace abounds there’s no distinction
‘tween man or beast, there’s only us.
You and I. And life.
Though life would have us believe that we are polar-
north not destined to need south.
Points separated by the void. But what
if we were north the same as south- not destined to repel
but to attract, would that wake you in the night?

Speak to me
of dreams and fears and hopes and doubts.
Show me the you that you’re afraid of.

Phoenix

What a Laugh!

2006-02-16T13:54:00.000Z

Do you have a few minutes? Can I recommend something that will make you smile? It made me laugh out loud! Check out this blog - click on the 'Don't Click Here' button and see what happens... Hahaha!

The Messes of Me

A Lineage of Grace

2006-02-15T15:05:00.000Z

So I just finished this book today, it's called A Lineage of Grace, by Francine Rivers. It's basically an omnibus, made up of 5 stories of 5 different women in the bible: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary. The stories focus on how these 5 women all had tremendous impact on their world and stood out in a time when women were not seen as being fit for much other than child bearing.

Tamar was betrayed by every man she ever needed to rely on, yet she put her faith in a God she knew nothing about but could not deny.
Rahab was a prostitute whose heart called out to the God of the Hebrews. She risked her life to protect the Israelite spies in the hope that God would redeem her.
Ruth left behind her family and everything she knew to follow her mother-in-law to a life of seeming destruction because she trusted that God could always turn any situation around.
Bathsheba was an adulteress who loved a King and betrayed a nation, but her trust in God and his goodness allowed her to raise a King even greater and wiser than David.
Mary was a peasant girl whose desire to please God allowed her to bear a Son who would be the Light of the world.

All of these women knew hardship. They knew heartache and fear and pain. They were scorned and ridiculed and looked down on. But they did not bow to their circumstances. They would not allow perceptions to govern them and they fought for what they believed in. I read their stories and feel shamed at my own selfishness. I do not face the obstacles they did - I would not be stoned for commiting adultery, or be put on the shelf I did not have a husband or a son to look after me, yet I am so quick to complain when things don't go the way I want them to. I condemn easily and forgive grudgingly. And yet I am encouraged when I read these stories, because every one of these women faced internal struggles and battles, and they did not have victory every time they faced opposition, but God saw fit to use them to change the course of history. Every one of them is in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Because they were willing to be used and shaped for whatever was in their future they played key roles in the worlds they were part of, and they even merit mentioning in the bible. Now THAT'S what I call a legacy.

So maybe I DON'T need to be perfect for God to use me...

Thirsty...?

2006-02-14T16:00:00.000Z

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4:13-14

for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.
Psalm 107:9

For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
Isaiah 44:3

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.’’
Isaiah 55:1

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Matthew 5:6

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.
John 6:35

Belief-O-Matic

2006-02-14T10:04:00.000Z

Well, just a bit of silliness, really, but according to the Belief-O-Matic quiz found on the Beliefnet website, my most suited religion is Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant. Check out the rest of these scores:

1.	Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (100%)
2.	Eastern Orthodox (99%)
3.	Roman Catholic (99%)
4.	Orthodox Quaker (92%)
5.	Seventh Day Adventist (83%)
6.	Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (67%)
7.	Orthodox Judaism (61%)
8.	Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (56%)
9.	Hinduism (54%)
10.	Islam (52%)
11.	Sikhism (47%)
12.	Liberal Quakers (45%)
13.	Jehovah's Witness (42%)
14.	Unitarian Universalism (37%)
15.	Reform Judaism (37%)
16.	Bah�'� Faith (33%)
17.	Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (33%)
18.	New Thought (28%)
19.	Scientology (28%)
20.	Neo-Pagan (27%)
21.	Mahayana Buddhism (24%)
22.	Theravada Buddhism (23%)
23.	Jainism (20%)
24.	New Age (19%)
25.	Secular Humanism (16%)
26.	Nontheist (15%)
27.	Taoism (13%)

Some interesting thoughts in there, huh?

Check out Amy's scores as well: Scores

I'm Back!

2006-02-13T15:53:00.000Z

Well, I haven't posted for a few days the reason being that I've been really busy, but also I was under the weather last week. But have no fear- I'm back and, hopefully, I'm better than ever. Don't get me wrong, I fully appreciate that being better than ever may be a bit of a long shot, but I'll probably be just as good, anyway. ;-)

So, quick recap of the last few days: Monday I was off sick, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday sort of passed in a bit of a blur and then Friday hit! YAY! But the bummer of it was that there was Sports Life on Friday...Netball! And I was in absolutely no state to play any sport of any kind, so I did the one thing I knew would keep me off the court... I stayed away completely. I didn't particularly want my housemates to have phone up my mum and inform her that due to my own Stupidity I was now in bed and suffering from Pneumonia. So I went to Janet's place instead. She was working from home on Friday and said I should go over so she could nurse me. Don't you just love that? I pitched at hers and literally passed out on the couch for the rest of the day. Then Tamara joined us later and we watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I haven't laughed and cringed so much in ages. It was good, no great actually.

Tam and I left there at about 11:30 and headed back home to bed, where I stayed until midday on Saturday. What a luxury! It did the trick though, and I felt almost like myself again by Saturday evening.

Saturday was rounded off with an interesting passtime: Bowling. Yup, good ol' Ten Pin. It was such a laugh!!!! Know why? I have discovered that I SUCK at bowling! I mean SUCK at it! I sent more balls down the gutter than anything else, it was hilarious. Lucky for me I was not the only one who sucked, we all pretty much did. There were about 2 out of the 9 people there who could put a decent score up. I did, however, score a STRIKE! Yay for me... even if it was only one. Afterwards I had to try and redeem myself with some airhockey and pool, which didn't go too badly. All in all I'd say it was a pretty successful 2 days. Let's hope there will be more like them in the near future.